It’s been a weird day for me.

I stayed up until 11:00 last night and went right to bed. BigBoy was hunkered down on the couch, so I let him be. I was comfortably sleeping when I felt a soft tap-tap on my side. I sat upright and said, “Oh hi, BigBoy. You wanna go outside to go peepee? Let’s go outside.” I moved quickly to the door, opened it, and ‘encouraged’ him out with my foot pressing against his butt. Glad it was 3:00 and no one saw my stocking-footed bare body. LOL

But having been suddenly awakened, I was wide awake, so I look at YouTube for a couple hours before I was tired again enough to go back to bed. An hour later I woke up really really needing to pee and found myself literally shivering and shaking. Not sure why, and I went back to bed until 7:45.

I spent most of the day feeling beside myself with awkwardness. And forgot to eat lunch. I decided on a slightly early supper (frozen chicken patties fried in butter, and some green beans drizzled with the butter from the patties). I had assumed not eating would have made my blood glucose drop, but it was 195! I hardly ever get that high before meals, but I took my units of Novolog insulin, and now I’m nibbling on what I cooked for supper.

I did manage to print some yarn labels, and get one package ready for shipping on Friday. Tomorrow I need to run to market and then spend the day getting this week’s yarns ready for shipping. I was supposed to do a custom job today, but my body was simply not having any of that.

As we approach the holiday season, I feel myself bucking down and bracing for the season. There are plenty of reason for me to want to avoid the holidays. And just recently I learned something about someone that makes me not want to have any thing to do with them ever. I won’t go into it here, and I really can’t put my emotional shit about it on Facebook because the person who shared this information is much closer to the situation than I and that person has been more deeply affected. So I sit here with my thoughts and wonder why it bothers me so much.

Thanksgiving is on Thursday, and I have my Marie Callender’s Turkey Pot Pie already in the freezer to eat while I watch the National Dog Show. It’s how I spend Thanksgiving and I’m okay with that. And, of course, I usually spend some time on Thanksgiving reflecting the past and projecting the future. At least what I hope may be a future for me. The last year or two have definitely been full of challenges, to say the least, but I can’t live my future days based on what happened this year.

Saturday I will turn 67 years old. Nothing spectacular is planned. It isn’t a remarkable occasion, just another day. When I turn 70 it will be a big deal.