I’ve had some pretty good days lately, health-wise. My numbers have been pretty good and I’m adjusting to the additional blood pressure medicine as well.

This morning I put the boys’ food bowl out, and came back inside with the door open for a while. Not long after I noticed Two-ie mewing under the coffee table but not patting my foot for attention. When I finally glanced down, there was a pile of bird feathers scattered, and Two-ie had a bird by the neck, wings still flapping.

What the fuck, Two-ie?? I shooed him out the door and he took his bird with him. By the time I got the camera back outside, somehow BigBoy had the bird, so I shooed him down the ramp. And then I got to vacuum feathers up off the carpet.

Nope, not amused. But I think that was still the highlight of the day.

I confess — I am mentally and emotionally exhausted. The world around me is far too full of bad news, and it is wearing me out. I had a couple good nights of sleep, but last night I woke after only an hour, and in that hour I had some weird and disturbing dreams. I can’t remember them now, but they were enough that I woke and wasn’t ready to try going back to sleep right away. I did eventually, and got maybe 4-ish hours of sleep.

Today my brain has been trying to do what needs doing, like paying bills and packing an order of yarn. I am nearly finished with the Old Shale scarf, like maybe an inch or two more before I can bind off, but it’s staring me from the coffee table and I don’t give a shit about it. Nor do I give a shit about frogging the blanket I started last fall. I know I won’t finish it so I decided to frog it and make something else that I might like more, but the blanket still sits there waiting for me to frog it.

And today my numbers are noticeably up, and I don’t care. And, considering how much energy and effort I have put into getting my health in order the last several months, it’s not that I truly don’t care. It’s that I don’t have the energy to care **today**. I just don’t give a shit today.

There have been protests and probably some rioting and looting downtown this week, following the murder of George Floyd. It happened in Minneapolis, but he was from Houston and much of his family is still here, so it is garnering a LOT of local attention.

I have to go into town on Wednesday for an eye exam that I’ve already put off twice and there are things I neeeeeed to have checked out with my eyes, so I really can’t put it off. But the idea of riding with a stranger in a Lyft ride anywhere near downtown is somewhat worrisome. I am not looking forward to it at all.