Yesterday I had a weird day. Mostly okay in the morning, when I got my first blood test as a baseline — 250. Yes, that’s way too high of course and that’s the number I need to work on getting down. Anyway, I went about my day, and asked my daughter in law for a ride to Kroger because it was too cold to walk that far.

It was a good thing I had someone with me. As I wrote on Facebook:

FuckShitGoddamnIt. Fainting in Kroger (or nearly so) is not one of my most elegant moves. I’m better now, and there are things to do to further help things this evening. I had asked my DiL Leanne to carry me to Kroger and so glad I did and so very glad she was there. She said I was cold and clammy and pale and sweaty… ugh… not my finest moment to be in public.
I’ll be okay but damn what a scare. Probably surprised Leanne too.

That’s the short version. When we got there, I was relatively fine (not “fine-fine”, but my new normal “fine”). And for most of the wandering around the store, I was mostly sorta-kinda okay. I noticed my eyes going funny — everything was too bright (like when you get the eyes dilated for an exam) and not really focused. My lower belly-gut was feeling crampy, and my hips, thighs, knees and feet really didn’t want to support me but I muscled through.

By the time we got to check-out, while the checker was scanning my stuff, I was feeling more and more faint. After paying (my debit card refused to process, but Leanne made it work) I was so fainty, she left me hanging onto the shopping cart for stability while she went to pull her car around. She got me loaded into the front seat and put the groceries in the back. It was all I could do to just sit there and moan in pain on the way home.

Once we got home, I went to the bathroom to see if I could relieve some of the pain. It took 10 minutes or longer, but I finally got some relief. Some relief. A small can of prune juice later in the evening helped as well. I’ve not ever had that much pain or that much trouble in the lower region before. Nor have I ever gone fainty and all the other symptoms.

I’m going to call the nurse hot line this morning to find out what to do in the future. Because I have multiple issues going on (diabetes AND belly-gut stuff) it is probably a combination of effects all at once. I should have eaten something before going shopping (duh). Since I didn’t know what was happening yesterday, once I got myself back to myself, I did call and cancel today’s clinic appointments — they were both scheduled for way downtown, and I just couldn’t see myself going that far from home without knowing if I was going to survive.

On Tuesday I am scheduled to see both an endocrinologist (to further explore the diabetes and perhaps add new meds for that) and a G.I. specialist to explore the belly-gut issues. As my doctor suggested on Monday, they may be related, since uncontrolled diabetes can affect any of the organs, including intestines. So I’m holding on and doing my best until then. And learning to eat much more carefully and regularly.

Today’s first (fasting) blood stick was 258, a bit higher than yesterday morning. But a blood stick after the Kroger trip it was 378. YIKES!!! I really gotta learn to regulate this better.

As for me internally – yesterday’s episode was a real scare for me, and I felt incredibly weak and vulnerable. I’m glad Leanne was with me, she didn’t freak out but was ‘there’ and stayed with me until I got my color back and was fairly stable. I appreciate that a lot. I’ve always been fiercely independent, and probably too much so, but I learned in my early days that those who should have cared for me either couldn’t or wouldn’t and that I was on my own. At nearly 65, it is difficult for me to change and let myself be taken care of when I need to be taken care of.