Okay, so I had my colonoscopy today.  The prep was definitely worse than the procedure, for which I was entirely out of it.

I’d read a lot of other people’s experiences, and I knew sort of what to expect.  They inflate the colon with air/gas to make it clearly visible for the camera.  Great.  I’d heard they will not let a person go until they’ve farted adequately.

When I woke up I found myself sitting in a pile of heavily soiled towels.   Apparently, during recovery, everything they put into the rectum finds its way back out. probably just as well I was sound asleep, as I can only imagine the sounds emanating from my nether regions during this process.  UGH

I was sitting there, unaware, and the nurse came around and said I could get dressed if I wanted to.  So I dug into my clothes bag and pulled out my underwear, slithering into them under my surgical gown.  And THEN stood up to adjust them and noticed the mess in the bed.   OMG!!!!  I grabbed the corner of a towel and did the best I could at wiping up.

I called the nurse over and pointed it out.  She said, “Oh, yes, they use water during the procedure.   Would you like to clean up before you dress?”

Umm…. no, I’ve always wanted to wander around with effluent-filled pants.  Yes, of COURSE I want to wash up first.   Geeez.  She found me  “A” washcloth and led me to the restroom.   I discovered the only towel was the paper towel machine.  Yeowch.
But, it’s over and done with for now.   All I have to do is wait a couple weeks for the pathology report(s) and see if there’s something more serious going on.  And they gave me pictures of polyps and other things.   Some of them looked no more troublesome than normal skin tags and bumps, but apparently those can signal the start of other troubles, so it’s good they removed them.  What I want to know is HOW they removed them, if there was bleeding and how they stopped it.  Heaven knows I don’t want bleeding in my colon, y’know?

Anyway, so the instructions were to NOT exert myself today, to have adult supervision for 24 hours, and generally lay low.   So that is what I’m doing.