I have no fucking clue what’s going to be happening this coming week, but it will be a learning experience.

I have known for a couple years that I am, or at least potentially could be, dying.  And now that I know there is, in fact, something going on in the lower tract and not just my imagination, and possibly colon cancer, I am forced to admit that for a long time I’ve been wanting to say, “See? Told you there’s something wrong!”

One of my “issues” about being sick is that I am single and live alone.  One of my daughters has been super about helping me, but I don’t want to be a burden on her with my health issues.   She’s been through major health shit with her son and her husband, and I don’t want to add to her burdens.  My other three kids haven’t said a word about anything since I went to the hospital a month ago.

Another issue is my line of work — as an indie art yarn dyer, I don’t have other people to do what I do in exactly the way I do it.  There is no shortage of indie art yarn dyers, of course, but I’ve worked hard to build a reputation for what I do in the way that i do it.

And in the past many years that i’ve been doing it, there has been more than one indie yarn dyer who suddenly “died of cancer”, leaving many customers without yarn or money … only to be found online a year later doing something entirely different.  I’ve had my own issues, and I’ve done my best to keep my reputation as best i could.  I don’t want to even appear to be a repeat of what other dyers have done.

I won’t know anything for sure until I see the dr. on Tuesday, and she’s sending me to a GI specialist for follow-up, so i suspect this will be an ongoing ordeal.

And if I have to go through this shit, you’re going to hear about it.  😀