but I really don’t have much choice — yarn sales aren’t keeping up the pace.

So I applied for early retirement Social Security.   I don’t know how long it takes to get approved or if I’ll have to jump through more hoops or whatever.   What I DO know is that every little bit helps.  Just today I went to make groceries and only could afford barely half a granny cart.  Don’t worry, I WILL be eating, but it will be canned beans (black beans and garbanzo beans), plus salads, some meat, and some frozen vegetables.  All basic healthy stuff.  No junk foods, no snack foods, no frozen dinner/prepared meals.

I could have applied when I turned 62 last November, but part of me has been avoiding it because to apply for retirement benefits means I’m getting old.  And that’s a hard thing for me.  And it’s a hard thing for me to admit that what I am making now just is not cutting it.   I’ve been on my own without an “employer” for 11 years, and it’s getting harder to keep up on my own.

Seriously… it is really fucking with my head to think of it, but I really don’t have much choice but to accept early retirement benefits.   I will still have to keep dyeing yarn, or find some other thing for making money, because the projected monthly benefits will just barely cover the rent.  And that will relieve a lot of the monthly stress, of course, but I will still need to eat and cover utility bills and so forth, so I’ll have to keep dyeing yarn or doing something.

Part of me feels like a bit of a failure that I can’t keep doing what I’ve been doing.  I know that’s irrational — everyone gets old and has to step aside.  And I’ve worked most of my adult life, and there is a record with the Social Security Administration that I am entitled to a certain amount.  It’s not like I’m begging for welfare or food stamps.

On the other hand, knowing that (if my application is approved) I’ll be getting some extra money each month, I might be able to focus on creativity and inspiration instead of stressing about selling selling selling to make a few bucks all the time.   Seriously, it is incredibly stressful!   And I’ll be able to get a couple teeth pulled, new glasses, maybe a new pair of shoes ….maybe take a trip into town to see the museums… who knows?

I don’t know how long it takes to process the application, so I don’t know exactly when I’ll start getting any benefits.  But today, when I clicked that “submit application” button, I knew my life changed.

Several years ago, I found a cracker I could eat without a whole lot of guilt — multi-grain, tasty, and no HFCS.

Notice, in particular the square shape.  They were perforated squares and came with two sleeves of squares in the box.  I would add 4 or 5 squares into my Supper Salad, which formed my evening meal fouir or five nights a week.

The store didn’t have these in stock for several weeks and I was beginning to despair for my Supper Salad crackers.  I was elated to find them back on the shelf last weekend, and they were marked down so I got two boxes just to be sure I’d have enough to last a while.

I was SOOOO disappointed to discover that instead of two sleeves of square crackers, there are now three sleeves of half-square crackers.   They aren’t as crunchy, don’t taste the same, and the ingredients now include HFCS.   Dammit.

Soo…..

I am now exploring recipes to make my own crackers.   I already regularly buy bread flour, so now I suppose will have to also buy all-purpose flour, and whole-wheat flour.  And baking sheets.  And other cracker-making supplies.   🙂

I have this supply of crackers on hand so I won’t start making my own right away.   But when I do I will at least know  what I’m eating.  😀

Science is important in everyday living.  Science is a method of learning or understanding the world around us.   Many of us use the scientific method so often that we don’t stop to think about it.  The first part of the scientific method is Observation — just looking at it to see what you have.   Then comes whatever testing might seem appropriate (in the case below, that would be tasting).   And then making some conclusions.  It is important to remember the difference between evidence-based objective observations and personal, subjective opinions.

Like this evening, just for example.   I discovered I had two pints of Cookies & Cream ice cream — one is Kroger’s house brand, Private Selection, and the other is from a local dairy, Blue Bunny.

Looking at the tops, we can see they are very similar; Private Selection is a little darker, richer looking ice cream, and the cookie chunks appear to be slightly larger.  The Blue Bunny is whiter, with somewhat smaller bits of cookie. 

But one cannot tell just by looking at the top surface.  A real scientist knows he must dig a little deeper:

Ah-HA!!! The Private Selection cookie chunks are larger throughout, 🙂
while the Blue Bunny product offers much smaller bits.   🙁

So far, these are evidence-based conclusions. We can observe the color and texture, and anyone observing would reach the same conclusions.

But there’s more!  The Private Selection product tastes better, but that’s a personal and very subjective opinion.   (What? You didn’t think I would scoop out samples and not actually eat them, did  you?)   I also prefer the Private Selection mouth-feel, which again is quite subjective.   Cheaper quality ice creams leave a fatty film in my mouth; fortunately Blue Bunny doesn’t do this but there is (to me) a slightly different mouth-feel.

Is one *better* than the other?  It’s more a matter of preference rather than *better*.  I like the Private Selection product  not only for color and texture, as well as taste and mouth-feel.   But there is also the expense of acquiring the product.

Blue Bunny is sold at the local corner market.  It is always $2.79 a pint, or 2/$5.00.

Private Selection pints are always $1.79 at Kroger, but often 3/$5.00.   Definitely the better price.   Plus, as a Kroger product I get 10% senior discount.  And yesterday when I went, I had a 40¢ coupon for 1 pint!  So, I got it for $1.79 – $0.17 – $0.40 = $1.22.    I am pretty sure $1.22 is better than $2.50.

I will not walk all the way to Kroger just for ice cream.  If I don’t need anything else, but just want ice cream, I will take my insulated lunch kit to the corner market and get two pints, which fit perfectly.  

There.  I said it.  Fuck Donald Trump.  He doesn’t deserve to be president of the local newspaper boys union.

There’s nothing else to say about that little fucker.