So, the weather folks are waffling a bit about the potential damage from Tropical Storm Beta. It may not be quite the storm that was anticipated earlier, but with flooding potential and strong winds (50mph) I’m not entirely sure about riding in a stranger’s car to get to my doctor’s appointment tomorrow. I know it is necessary and I know (because I looked it up) that a hernia doesn’t self-repair, and the sooner I get it patched and corrected, the better off I will be and with fewer complications. I just don’t feel entirely safe going for a surgical consultation during a tropical storm of any significance.
I got maybe 4-5 hours sleep last night, not nearly enough, but awake enough that going right back to sleep wasn’t an option. I mean, I tried to go back to sleep after the last potty trip, but all I did was lie there feeling my trigger joint going off in my thumb. That little fucker hurts.
I finally caught up with the haircuts; it has been 4 weeks. I really shouldn’t let it go so long, as it jams my little clippers. But it’s done and now I’m all clean and shiny again.
I guess I will see what the day will bring. The boys are fed, I’m fed and medicated, and coffee is starting to work.
Last night we learned that Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg died from complications from metastatic pancreatic cancer. She held on as long as she could.
I learned last night that saying things like “R.I.P.” or “she’s in a better place” is inappropriate. She was Jewish and it isn’t right to use Christian sentiments on the occasion of her death. Better to honor who she was by saying, in Jewish tradition, “May her memory be a blessing.”
I hope that there are enough Senators with common decency and integrity to resist Mitch McConnell’s push to replace RBG immediately. He refused President Obama’s SCOTUS nominee because “it is an election year” (in 2016), and he needs to honor that sentiment now as well, but he’s already signaled that Trump’s nominee will get a hearing on the Senate Floor. It’s going to be a colossal shit-show between now and the election.
There is very little I can do about RBG’s passing, or the shit-show in Washington, D.C. But I can vote in this election, and will do so as soon as I get my ballot.
In other news, closer to home, the neuropathy in my back flared up just as I was heading to bed — burning, tingling, pain all around my upper back near my right shoulder blade. I had already taken my night-time meds but apparently that didn’t help. I tried lidocaine cream. I tried a frozen gel pack. These measures only briefly interrupted the pain. So I tried a couple hits of Vitamin M, and I was at least able to go back to bed and fall asleep for about 5.5 hours. Now that I’m up this morning, the pain is still there in my back, but not a searing, screeching pain. Just the normal tingly pain. 🙁
A while back, my daughter requested a pocketed shawl, and asked if I could make one. I didn’t purchase the requested pattern, but made my own design. She picked out the yarn and approved the design when I showed her early progress pictures. Yesterday I finished the second pocket to be applied, and all of the actual crocheting part is done. There is some embellishment that I need to apply to both pockets before they can be sewn into place and all the other loose ends and tails get woven in. But the crocheting is done, and my right thumb and middle finger are now in pain with trigger joints. Not a smart thing to power crochet through a project, but I’m glad I got it done. Meanwhile, my right hand is sort of useless for much of anything today. I’ll let it rest and pursue other projects that don’t require a lot of repetitive motion.
Gawd, I hate getting older and watching my body fall apart in ways I couldn’t imagine when I was younger.
Well, okay, so I’ve been attempting (again) to regulate my sleeps. It is one thing to go to bed at a regular time, but it also helps to set the alarm clock to wake up at a regular time. It doesn’t always work — I woke a couple hours early this morning — but it feels like I am moving toward my goal of a regular bedtime, adequate sleep, and regular waking time.
Yesterday I made the suggested appointment for a consultation with the surgeon. I’ll see him on Tuesday to decide what to do about the hernia.
The neuropathy in my back was flaring up a lot yesterday afternoon/evening. My regular doctor said it was unusual for neuropathy to spread to the back, more often it spreads around the front of the torso. Yippeee! I’m not normal! LOL The weird thing about peripheral neuropathy (peripheral, meaning it isn’t derived from the nerve connections in the brain or spinal column, but other nerve endings around the body) is that it can cause numbness or prickly painful pin-pricky sensations, but when the doctor does a pin-prick test to determine sensation, I can’t feel the pin-pricks. I also don’t feel the lancet pricks when I do my regular finger-sticks for glucose testing on some of my fingers.
I know (or strongly suspect) that the neuropathy in my feet and hands is a consequence of the uncontrolled diabetes as it was last year. But now that I’ve been working on that, and my A1c is lower, I’m surprised the neuropathy is spreading. I may need to explore increasing the gabapentin dose and see if that helps to slow the progress of the neuropathy.
But other than the neuropathy, and the hernia, the rest of me is feeling actually quite good. And the hernia doesn’t really ‘hurt’ as much as being a bit of a nuisance that I want fixed before it does start to hurt.
Today will be a somewhat busy day, with some dyeing and some more yarn preps for other dyeing.
Yesterday I went to have the ultrasound done on my abdomen. The technician said I’d get the results back in a week or two. Last night I got a message back with the results — I have a “periumbilical hernia … with loops of bowel”, and I’m supposed to schedule a consultation with the surgeon in the next few weeks.
It wasn’t clear if my PCP would refer me to a surgeon, or if I’m supposed to contact the surgeon who did the Triple A last year, or what I’m supposed to do, so I sent a message to my doctor and should hear back soon.
This is not the news I wanted to hear, but if I need to have a surgical repair I would rather get it over with sooner than later. I am generally healthier now that I was in January, so I don’t think this will be as involved or complicated as last time — it’s just a repair of the muscle that they cut through last time, not a whole re-arranging of all my innards. At least, that would be my understanding of it, so far. I could be quite mistaken, of course.
Oh well… into the day I go. If I’m facing surgery in the coming weeks I have a bunch of stuff to get done before then.
So, I went this morning to get the ultrasound done on my abdomen. Fairly uneventful visit, actually. I got there early, sat around waiting a while. While I was waiting I saw a woman wearing a brown plaid over-shirt, with TRUMP blazoned across the back in very large letters. I didn’t think to pull out my phone for a pic — I’ve not seen a Trumper out in the wild before. I don’t wear political statements to the clinic — people are there for health concerns, and probably don’t want to raise the blood pressure by encountering other people boldly proclaiming their affiliations, political or religious.
I don’t know if there will be surgery required or not. I thought I had done well in taking things easy for a long-enough time that I wouldn’t risk a hernia. Apparently not. If I do need corrective surgery, I will be unable to work for a few months again, in order to ensure things are healing and pulling together correctly this time. Before my last surgery, someone far more prescient than I (a friend of a friend) sent a sum that was enough to help me survive a few months; I didn’t ask for it, but was ever-so-grateful that I had it, since I was told (AFTER the surgery) it would be several months before I could safely return to work. If I’m out of commission again I will almost definitely need to set up a GoFundMe account so I can cover my rent, utilities, food and other necessities, or possibly have people donate straight into my regular PayPal account. It won’t likely be as debilitating as the previous surgery, but I don’t want to take any chances with trying to work too soon afterward.
I won’t get the results back for another week or two, so between now and then my focus is on clearing all the last few remaining commission projects that I’ve been working on, slowly but surely. If I am put out of work, I don’t want any lingering projects hanging over my head like last time.
I was disappointed that the pharmacy still didn’t have any available flu shots, but they suggested I might try going to H-E-B, since my clinic has a contract with them to provide regular vaccinations free of charge on my insurance plan. So tomorrow I have to call and see if there is an H-E-B near me that has flu shots in stock. Normally I don’t get the flu shot until November or later, but I wanted to get one this year a little early.
I was feeling particularly spry and able, so I took my cane for a walk (like it needed the exercise, right?) up to Manor. I was hurting before I got to the corner, but didn’t turn around until I reached the corner. Fortunately, it is almost entirely just muscle pain, not joint pain or random nerve firings, so I will definitely survive. The weather is slowly turning, so I can resume my exercise walks, but I also have to increase my exercise dancing and movement around the house as well. I discovered the other day that my flexibility is almost entirely shot, and that’s not a good thing. So many things I need to be more diligent about.
One thing about the walks — I’ve used a cane for walking regularly since I moved here (2006) because of my right hip. But I think I will start using the rollator walker again when I take my walks. The cane lets me favor one side (which was helpful for the hip joint), but the rollator will help me exercise both hips and legs equally to keep both sides stronger. At least, that is what I’m thinking. And I am grateful that Oscar strongly encouraged me to get the rollator instead of the basic aluminum walker. I bought it on my own (as well as the original folding walker) since I didn’t know Medicare was supposed to provide one every few years. My long-term goal is to not need a mobility device, but it’s nice to have it for now, and nice to know a new one can be provided if it is ever needed in the future. I will, however, keep both walkers for now and see what happens.
In other news my daily numbers are good, and I’m generally feeling pretty good today. My right hand, however, feels rather crinkly with a couple of trigger joints causing pain, and other digits rather stiff and sore. I’m not sure what work I’ll be able to do today.
I do have things that need doing, so I’ll do what I can and go from there, I suppose.
So, it’s 1:30a.m. I went to bed just after 10:15, and I was thinking “Please let me sleep until 6:30.” Nope, that didn’t work. I woke even earlier than my normal early waking. Bummer.
Oh well, might as well make use of the time.
Part of the doctor visit on Tuesday was getting the pneumococcal vaccine. Besides hurting more than a normal flu shot, that may also be why I was feeling ragged yesterday and couldn’t finish even the simplest dye job without a lot of ‘exhaustion pain’. It’s okay, I can finish the job later this morning (during “normal business hours”, right?), it just felt weird since I’ve made pretty good progress getting back my strength and stamina from the surgery. I just didn’t connect the vaccine on Tuesday with how I was feeling yesterday.
Last night just before bed, I got a message saying my test results were back for the A1C test. In March my A1C was 5.8. My test yesterday came back as 6.4. The note from the doctor said, “Your results showed A1c has increased slightly- but diabetes is still well controlled.” The standard range is 4.8 – 5.6 so I have some work to do. I am pretty sure I know the culprits that I need to further eliminate from my daily diet.
Per the doctor’s order, I scheduled an ultrasound for my abdominal scar and the underlying issues that feel like a hernia. It doesn’t hurt, but he wants to get a better look at what is happening in that area to make sure it doesn’t get worse and to get it fixed is possible. That will happen next Wednesday, and I can call ahead to get a regular flu shot. They were out of stock when I was there on Tuesday, and offered to hold one back for me when they got more in stock, so I’ll call later today and see if that offer holds. I really don’t want to skip the flu vaccine this year, especially.
Speaking of vaccines and stuff…. No, I don’t believe there will be a viable vaccine for COVID-19 before the election. That’s a stupid idea proposed by the Ignoramus-in-Chief who has no clue what’s involved in creating a safe vaccine. And now this week, thanks to Bob Woodward’s latest book, we are learning that Trump knew way back before the first case appeared in the U.S. that this was a deadly airborne virus, far worse than a normal influenza, and he deliberately chose not to reveal what he knew, and further worked to prevent anyone else from adequately informing the public. How fucked up is that? Now that this revelation has come out, he is claiming he wanted to downplay the virus to “avoid a panic.” Bullshit. He doesn’t care about the public health. He was only worried what the news would do to the stock market and his personal pocketbook.
A true leader doesn’t “avoid a panic” by blatantly lying to the public. He will be honest about the risks and dangers involved, but will also inform the public what sort of plan is in place for controlling a pandemic. The previous administration left a playbook for handling pandemics, and had personnel in place to watch for such things and to be prepared for it. Trump ignored the playbook and fired the people who were qualified to deal with something like this. Fuck Trump.
Public health should not be a partisan issue, but Trump is using it for political purposes. There’s no question he has failed the American people in soooooo many ways, and this is one of the worst things he’s done, in my opinion. Fuck Trump.
Anyway, I suppose I should try to wind down again and try to get back to sleep eventually.
Okay, so I went to my clinic visit this morning. Got up, showered, shaved, ate breakfast and got myself ready to go … and then got a message in the clinic message system saying it would help if I could fast first, but not a big deal if I can’t. I had asked about fasting last Thursday, but I guess he didn’t see that message until this morning. No matter.
Besides the hernia thing in the abdomen, it seems the neuropathy is spreading in my back, which may explain the weird pains and tingling behind the shoulder blade. 🙁
Anyway, my numbers are pretty good — bp 124/70, my weight is up to about 160-ish (my scales say 155, the dr. office says 166, but I’m naked at home and fully dressed at the dr. office). I’ll have to wait the results of the A1C for my blood sugar results, although my daily finger sticks are within pretty good range most of the time. I finally figured out what the A1C is for — to test how my hemoglobin is ‘sugar coated’. Last time it was 5.8, but I am assuming it will be higher this time. Last test was just a short time after my surgery when I hadn’t been eating much and was losing so much weight.
I also got a pneumococcal vaccine.
Until today, the clinic has been arranging rides to/from my clinic visits, but today I scheduled a Lyft on my own just to see what it would cost. Holy Shit! Almost $20 in each direction!
Riding to/from today allowed road vibrations to ride up into my knee and hip, so I’ve got some pain this afternoon. I won’t try to stand around dyeing today, but I can finish pulling the yarns for custom dye jobs to be done as the week progresses; I can pull yarns a few at a time and get them all bundled and ready to go, and sit to rest in between.
In other news, there’s not much to say. The weather is supposed to be cooling later in the week, so I can think about taking my walks again.
Okay, so I’ve been mildly chastised for my failure to continue posting here. As I explained to my friend, with my surgery recovery reaching a sort of plateau, and other life going on blandly, I just didn’t feel compelled to post just to be posting.
First off, this is my Facebook profile picture I put up just a few days ago.
See? Still here, still smiling. Or smirking. Or whatever. 🙂
Anyway, my recovery seems to be continuing, although due to the heat around here I stopped taking my daily walks and my body suffered for that. I’m grateful the weather is supposed to cool off this coming week and I can resume taking my little walks. Also, since I had begun trying to work, I counted any motion or action as “exercise”, and the days I was standing up working I didn’t feel compelled to also go take a walk. For the last couple of weeks I’ve had to deal with some incredible nerve pain, usually running from the inguinal crease, down my inner thigh and into my calf area. It’s weird (to me) that I’ve learned to mostly distinguish joint pain, muscle pain, and nerve pain.
The pain was really acting up when I was at my daughter’s a couple weeks ago for Hurricane Laura. At first it looked like it would be no threat at all, but then it kept moving more and more toward the Houston area, and I didn’t want to hunker down in a mobile home during a massive storm overhead, so I went to my daughter’s place out in Crosby. We sat on the back porch sucking beer and waiting for the storm to hit. Then we got the alert that it had made landfall near Cameron, LA, and we barely got a breeze and no rain to speak of at all. I could have stayed home and been just fine, but you never know where a storm’s going to actually hit, and I enjoyed being with my daughter and her family.
Today things are feeling mostly okay – a bit of joint pain but I can work with that and the celecoxib is helping manage that. I’m seeing the doctor tomorrow about a different (new) problem, and might ask about increasing the dose, but maybe not since I’ve read that doubling the dose isn’t particularly more effective. I’m pretty sure I need to focus on mobility and exercise before leaning too much on drugs.
One thing I am particularly sort of grateful for, as far as my health recovery goes, is that I have landed upon a breakfast that I enjoy AND allows me to skip the fast-acting mid-day shot of insulin. I start the day with Lantus anyway, but if my blood sugar is below 130 at lunch and dinner I can skip the Novolog insulin. So for breakfast I have been having a small container of yogurt, 2 hard boiled eggs, and 2 Medjool dates. I’m not sure what the combination does, but my numbers are usually pretty good, and I rarely feel hungry like I need a snack before lunch I’ve also seriously limited grain-based carbs like pasta and rice and so forth during the day. I still have some, but not a lot, and I do occasionally have to get a shot of the Novolog. Oh well…. learning as I go. And I’m free to explore other foods for lunch, snack, and dinner, so it’s all good.
A friend recently sent me a Brother sewing machine that she never used, so I can start tackling the bundles of fat quarters I got last month. I saw them and couldn’t resist buying them (almost $300 worth of fat quarters), so now I have to use them into a quilt or two or three. I’m also building up a Quilting Wish List on Amazon so I can start buying the various tools and templates I will need, since there are a few particular designs I want to try, and the easiest way to do them is to use specific templates for easy cutting.
Not a lot else happening at the moment. I’ll give a report back after I see the doctor tomorrow, since I’m pretty sure there will be some new adventures in my future. UGH!
So, I got to bed near 10:30 and fell right asleep. And woke right up around 2:30. Figures.
I went on Facebook and it seems a LOT of people are complaining about insomnia. No wonder — the world around us is going to shit; people are stressing out over finances, the pandemic and the failed response from our government to deal with it; political shenanigans all over. It is often hard to ‘adult’ even during good times, but it seems lately that this is a particularly stressful time.
Last night when Nora O’Donnell (CBS Evening News) was introducing her upcoming stories for the evening, I just realized I couldn’t sit through the news — every story she introduced was worse than the one before, and I had to just shut it off before she even finished listing the stories to come up. And I imagine a lot of my acquaintances are experiencing a similar sense of overload with all the bad news.
Mostly my life is slowly coming back into its own again. Slowly. Like, I have discovered that a breakfast of yogurt, 2 dates, and 2 hard boiled eggs will pretty much carry me to lunchtime and my mid-day glucose is low enough to not need the Novolog (fast-acting insulin), and if I’m careful with lunch and afternoon snacks, my evening number is equally good.
Well that didn’t go well…. I typed the above portion 3 days ago, saved it as a draft, and failed to come back to it. And then my server wasn’t letting me log in. Bummer.
Anyway, now it is Friday, the electrical problem still hasn’t been fixed. Fixer’s brother looked at it Wednesday evening, said he’d be back yesterday afternoon (after an early morning fishing trip!), but that didn’t happen. And the lawnmower guys also didn’t show up yesterday, either.
There are things I can’t change, and I’m learning (slowly) to just not give a fuck about certain things.
Onward to other news ….
A couple weeks ago my baby sister traveled from her home in North Carolina to visit her foster mother in California, since her foster mother is dying of cancer. She drove instead of flying, to avoid being stuck in a crowded plane with strangers. Along the way she stopped to see other family members. Her return trip was planned to follow I-10 to see our brother in Phoenix, our sister in San Antonio, and then me and some others in Houston. But there was concern because she hadn’t been masking on all of her other family visits, so she decided to go north from San Antonio and bypass Houston altogether.
So, on Wednesday afternoon, I got a message on Facebook that she was in town visiting with my son and daughter-in-law. Well, whattaya know! So she came by here and visited for a short while. Having not expected her, I wasn’t dressed for company, nor was my house in order. Ahhh well, such is life. As I said above, I can’t give a fuck about things I can’t change.
It was a brief mid-afternoon visit, and then she was off again for the last leg of her journey home.
And now today is Friday. I’ve been up since about 3:30 and it is nearly 6:00 soon. I expect I will nap at some point in the day. But for now I will hit the ‘publish’ button and hope this gets posted this time. 🙂
