Whiting's Writings - My Life |
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Huh??? 31 Jan 2006 Demanding jobs and housing is a joke. In this morning's newspaper there is an article in which Jesse Jackson is quoted as saying "Why must people here look at people coming in from out of the country to do the work? That is humiliating," he said. "There are no jobs that cannot be done by the people who once lived here." Uhhh.... 'scuze me??? Every day when I walk out my door, I see signs posted on business of every sort, looking to hire people willing to work. And there are several locations around town where Hispanics gather for day labor jobs. There is nothing and nobody preventing willing workers from lining up and earning a day's wage. If the Spanish-speaking, out-of-towner, illegal immigrant Hispanic population can figure out where the jobs are, why are our own local citizens unable to do that? Sure, there are no jobs that could not be done by the people who once lived here, but where are they now??? Burger King is offering a $6,000 sign-on bunus, wages in the hospitality industry are up 29%, fast food restaurants are posting wages several dollars higher than minimum wage. There is no end in sight for all the demolition and construction positions. There is a city that needs to be cleaned up. Where are all these people who are crying about "no jobs" actually looking??? Do they really think an employer is going to walk up and down THEIR street hollering out for someone to come to work? I don't think so. It really bothers me that someone like Jesse Jackson can swoop in here for another photo-op and grandstanding march across the Crescent City Connection (that's where many evacuees tried to cross to the West Bank and were turned back by the Gretna police).
On The Flip Side.... We have Judge Robert Eckels, the highest ranking official of Harris County, Texas, who was also in town to investigate for himself the conditions that Houston evacuees will face if they return. Bravo for him! He gets it. He understands that it is unreasonable and virtually impossible for all those evacuees to come back. There's just no place for them to return. Here's a partial quote from the news piece on KHOU-TV in Houston (even though I saw it on my local TV station, there is nothing in the local media Web sites referencing this!): What struck the delegation from Houston was what they saw, but also what they did not see, not a lot in the way of reconstruction efforts. "I see things like this muffin pan that almost give you a snapshot of someone's life that was just interrupted," said Eckels, "You can tell from the condition of this pan and everything else here, that it's going to be a long time." "This means we're going to have a lot of new Houstonians for a long time, so we gotta integrate our community, we gotta provide jobs, we gotta grow our economy. We gotta bring people in and we gotta welcome them because it looks like more people are gonna be there. It looks like more people are gonna move to Houston," said Houston delegate Guy Rankin, with the Harris County Housing Authority. The guy gets it. Why doesn't the leadership of New Orleans get it??? He can see with his own two eyes how bad it was, how little has been done (in FIVE MONTHS) and how much more would have to be done in order for all those people to make a serious return to New Orleans. All these local idiots (plus the imported idiots like Jesse Jackson) are clearly not looking out for the citizens who lost everything; they're just using the citizens as pawns in their stupid political posturing and games. Hey wouldn't it be cool to put Judge Robert Eckels and Rev. Jesse Jackson into a room together and let them argue it out? Hmmm... a judge and a reverend. Gawd, sounds like the start of a really bawdy joke, huh? Oh well, enough about that. .... It is overwhelming trying to figure it all out, so I'm just going to withdraw into my own space (mental and otherwise) and try to focus on what's good for ME and what I need to be doing -- making an income to support myself. I talked to the director of the food bank where we take the Bundle Up goodies. All is well, and she is happy we are providing warm winterwear. There was some confusion about this as the guard didn't understand the requirements; other people were depositing massive amounts of just any old clothing they had around. The director said our knitwear was just fine and quite welcome. Whew! That's a load off my mind. And it firms up my commitment to a good idea! Yippee!!!!! This afternoon I'd had just about enough of this friggin' computer and the sun was shining, so I walked down to Cafe Luna for a coffee and knitting in the fresh air. It's only about 20+ blocks to walk, give or take. At a brisk pace, and with light traffic, it only takes about 25-30 minutes. And when I got home, there were FOUR boxes waiting on the porch. WOW!!! Three were for Bundle Up, and one was a box of books on how to start and run and fund a nonprofit organization (thanks for the tip, Jo!!!!). The Bundle Up boxes had the biggest single-day combined donation (along with what I took from the collection basket at Cafe Luna) so far. And the designs that people are donating are aMAZing -- so many wonderful concepts and patterns and techniques. But more than that is the gift of one's own time and energy toward crafting something to keep a stranger warm and cozy. That just blows me away how giving and caring craftspeople are, y'know? I'll be posting pictures on the Bundle Up updates page later this week when I do the weekly report. The books on nonprofit are essential for my future. It may be way over my head at this point, of course, but I am quite serious about wanting to take Bundle Up to a larger level. I might as well so it correctly from the start, with a solid intention to go that route, rather than let myself get overwhelmed and one day discover "OMG I shoulda done it differently." At least by studying it out, I will be informed, and an informed decision is better than blind guessing. And, of course, the fundraising book will help me whether I go nonprofit or not -- I can always use ideas for fundraising, income producing or whatever it is called. Tonight will be the President's State of the Union Address. I am going to actually sit and listen to it. I want to hear EXACTLY what he has to say about Louisiana, the Gulf Coast, and what might yet be coming for the future of this region. And then right after will be the political analysts making mincemeat of every phrase and nuance through the Address. It's like watching the Superbowl for the commercials, y'know? Or sitting through the Emmys or Tonys just to see who is wearing what and how many celebrities make fools of themselves in the process! |
What to write about? 29 Jan 2006 I was going to bitch about my wack-o sleep cycles -- returning to the horrid pattern from right after Katrina where I couldn't sleep through the night, but would wake before 3:00 with splitting pounding piercing headaches, only to take a couple ibuprofens and a few cups of coffee, wait a couple hours, then crawl back into bed and find a hard hard sleep for another couple hours. Very weird and disconcerting. But I've always had sleep troubles, so I'm not going to belabor it or agonize over it. I suspect it has something to do with making choices and firm decisions, and the stress of having to adjust to living with the decisions I have made. You know, making decisions isn't as difficult as living with one's decisions! My buddy Fran has come into a new mode of art by way of her scanner. Isn't this beautiful??
I like it. She has links to other similarly glorious scanner art, taking real flowers and creating works of digital art. It's a must see. I want one of these T-Shirts:
which I found at Tim's Nameless Blog. Tim is a civil engineer here in New Orleans, who writes about his own version of recovery. This particular tee-shirt really strikes a chord with me because I encountered that attitude the 2nd day after the hurricane. I'd gone down the street to the 2nd District to get some information and advice, and basically got NO help and ended up coming back home. And, in light of all the officers who abandoned their posts, and the bad-apple cops who hurt the reputation of the entire police force, I can sincerely appreciate the sentiment on this tee-shirt. Mind you, not ALL of the NOPD is corrupt, but like everything else you only hear about the bad apples. OH!!!! My daughter sent this picture of my newest grandchild, just 3 months old TODAY!!! Look at this little Tough Guy pose! Oooooooooo, I'm soooo scared of him!!!!
I can hardly wait to move to Texas and see him. I never got to see my other grandson before he died in October 2001, just a few weeks after 9/11.That will always be one of my bigger regrets in life -- not seeing my first grandson. Well, anyway... enough rambling for this day. I have a lot of chores and things that I want to do toward getting my house in order. Allowing the house to get into cluttery disarray isn't helping me at all, at a time when I really need order, rhythm, and healthy flow in my life. If you only had 1 hour to get your house presentable, what 3 things would you do first? |
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Distribution Day 28 Jan 2006 Okay, so a friend drove me to the food bank to take the load of goodies for Bundle Up New Orleans (update there, with picture of today's collection of goodies) and there was a sign on the door saying they don't need any more clothes. Well, the director wasn't there today, and we'd already arranged with her to bring what we had, so I left them there with her assistant and will be tracking her down this week. I will also be on the phone trying to establish other distribution sites for hats and scarves. A pre-Katrina part of me is saying, "See, Ray, that was a dumb idea... NObody needs that stuff, anyway." But the post-Katrina part of me says, "Hold on... that was just ONE location we tried, and there are thousands of people returning and many will not have winterwear for the remaining cold snaps we will surely have." So, I have to think outside the box, and partner with more appropriate locations. After all, I can't completely fault a FOOD BANK for not be prepared for clothing, eh? I refuse to be discouraged, or even distracted.
Moving Forward This weekend I'm trying to re-sort myself some more. I know that I need to be creating several income channels, and I've spent enough time for one week on the Bundle Up project. It isn't going away, and I hope it grows. But it won't pay all my expenses, so I need to remember to put entergy into the Christmas stockings and other things. As the time of my transition from the day job draws closer, I have to become increasingly attentive to multiple priorities in this regard -- investing adequate time each week to all my income streams. Fortunately, since it all involves some aspect of knitting, it's not a total brain-shift from one thing to another. UNfortunately, since it all involves some aspect of knitting, I have to force a deliberate brainshift regularly in order to keep balanced. Oy!!!
Damn, but that Fush is Bucked, y'know? There have been several public statements by our illustrious Commander in Chief, President George Dubyah, commenting on the problems of Louisiana, claiming we don't have a "Plan" and no more money is coming until we get a Plan. Well, bullshit.... we DO have a plan and they keep rejecting it in D.C. Sure, there's been a lot of promises made, and there was something like $82million or whatever. Then Bush, referencing a huge dollar commitment already promised, says something totally dumbass "People in that part of the world need to know that's a lot of money." WHAT??? People in that part of the world???? This is still part of the United Fucking States, goddammit. And we know it's a lot of money, but we also know it is nothing compared the full amount of money it will take to restore New Orleans. Nobody with a brain actually expects the Feds to pick up the entire tab, and nobody with a brain expects anyone to offer free hand-outs to people who should have insured their own damned houses. But the reality is that recovering THE CITY is beyond the means of the city at thsi time. After decades of rewarding poverty with hand-outs, the local mentality just expects money to pour in, and people have a false sense of entitlement. I reject that nonsense. But, it was the Feds who created this situation in New Orleans. If Katrina had just blown through and gone away, the city would have been plenty fine by now. But because of the failures of the Corps of Engineers regarding the levees, the flooding in the city is the fault of the Feds. They fucked up in building crappy levees (and the local levee boards did little to fix it, so there's some measure of local fault as well), but the private citizens were led to believe all is well. Such unwarranted trust needs to be recompensed in one way or another. People who invested in a home need to be made whole by those most responsible for creating the damage. But still, it is aggravating with the president refers to one of the states as "that part of the world." As one of the posters in the forums commented, this is his way of distancing himself from reality. And apparently he's used that phrase frequently in recent weeks. I shouldn't get so upset. I mean... consider the source. He's not the brightest crayon in the box. |
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We had "the talk" today 27 Jan 2006 Today I went with my boss to a local coffee shop and had a coffee and chat session. And we had "the talk". I laid out my reasons for needing to move on. He more than understood and was graciously supportive. I appreciate that. I'm sure others will be less kind or gracious, and some might feel I'm a traitor. But when I came back it was with the understanding that I would be here through the recovery and while things got back to "normal". I wanted to come back and help the school get back on its feet. Well, things aren't really going to be "normal" for at least 5 years or more. The entire landscape (economically, socially, AND almost everybody's front yard) has changed. Parts of the school are moving back, people are developing new habits and new structures within which to work. Things in my immediate working arena are flowing away from crisis-mode and back into a maintenance mode as projects and programs getting back into routine. I committed to stick around that long. Okay, I did that. I am at peace about that, and I am at peace about the discussion with my boss. I still haven't heard back from the folks in HR to see if I'll be taking my lump sum retirement benefits with me, or converting into their early retirement plan for people who have been laid off (which of course, would require my other boss to formally determine I can be laid off "for the good of the state budget"). I wish HR would hurry up and tell me what I need to know so that I can ask the other boss to lay me off if that needs to happen. Once I get that bit of info I can formally write my letters of termination OR make my request to be laid off properly. The other day I was feeling overwhelmed with the bigness of what may lie ahead for me. I've been contacted by some friends who have offered options, ideas, and resources to help decide if I need to go with a non-profit formal structure, or just keep it all rather low-key. I'll do my research and proceed slowly. One of my friends (Hi J!!!!!) contacted some of her resources, who in turn recommended some books on the topic, which I've now ordered and requested by rush delivery. It's all good. And I am grateful that I do have the time to think, to plan, and get all my ducks in a row. Taking charge of these decisions, rather than hanging loose and letting others decide for me, gives me a large amount of liberty and comfort. I like that. It's been a busy, hectic week for me on several levels. Tomorrow I'll take another big bunch of goodies to the food bank. I'll lay it all out in a single huge spread so everyone can see how blessed we've already been. Winter doesn't last long in New Orleans, so we won't go more than another couple months, but I'm confident that what is started here can become something even bigger to reach more people in need. This is cool, no? Into the evening I go. See ya! |
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Ohhhh... the BIGNESS of it all 24 Jan 2006 Another wonderful box of goodies came today for Bundle Up. How very cool. And I'm shaking in my boots. I've noticed something the last few days. When I'm doing work for my day job (which I absolutely MUST continue do as long as I'm on the payroll, whether anyone is watching or not), I feel a dull and dragging weight. But at 4:30 when I turn off my office email and turn about to work on Bundle Up, I am immediately quickened, enthused, alive, and my brain is once again lubricated and running and full tilt. If Bundle Up New Orleans is destined to become the start of a bigger Bundle Up Project, I am going to need some serious help in very specific areas: A budget must be drawn up to include expenses for branding (a necessary part of getting one's name/project known), as well as creating a proper tax-deductible charity work. If I'm going to ask people to assist in a grand scale, it should be a charitable nonprofit work, including a part-time salary for me. I cringe at the exorbitant 6-digit figures that national "charities" give to their executive directors, but if I'm going to be driving this thing full time I will at least need a modest partial income, right? There will be expenses for shipping and packaging materials, print materials including patterns and instructions; guidance manuals for regional and local chapters so they know how to partner with established distribution sites rather than re-inventing what's already set up. My head is a-flutter with all that needs to be done to make Bundle Up Project a viable North American effort. I need to find out how my counterparts in other similar works go about getting set up. I can't believe all of them are entirely voluntary positions .... are they? And, of course, with a realistic budget, there has to be a way to raise funds for it. Some of it will of course come from sales of charity-suitable pattern books, as well as materials suitable for making charity goods. Getting a wholesale license would allow me to purchase bulk materials, which I could then sell at drastic discount to the local Bundle Up chapters for use in creating local stock of needed articles. ugh. I'll need a grant-writer, and someone to create a professional logo and image for Web and print presentation. Have any of y'all done such a thing before? What do I need to know? What do I notyet know that I don't know? It's hard to wrap my brain around questions when I don't even know the right questions to be asking. I have barely 3 months before I am without an income. Then I will have about 3 more months in which to get all of this finalized, get my ass into Texas and start pumping it out. The more I can get into place now, the less shakey I will feel later on, y'know? But the more I think on it, the more I am beginning to actually LIKE the idea of being the national director for The Bundle Up Project. Since the initial vision is toward having supplies ready created for immediate shipping out to crisis areas and emergency disaster sites, I was thinking of calling it the Bundle Up Relief Project, but I don't like the B.U.R.P. acronym -- it just violates the whole vision of bundling up and snugglies... y'know??? Hell, the entire vision may flip flop and become something even more pressing and relevant to society today, I don't know. Right now, in New Orleans, it's hats and scarves for an immediate need. But it may include other comforts for more than just disaster relief -- there are so many needs and none of the current agencies are able to meet all of the need, so I'm not concerned that I'll be duplicating someone else's effort. What I DO know is that where I'm going is a place I've not been before. YIKES!!!!!! Oh well.... my head is full, my heart is full, my belly is full ... must be time for bed. I LIKE how things are changing in my life as I feel myself being propelled forward and toward something good, and something I will enjoy being a part of. |
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HOLY CRAP -- LOST e-MAILS 24 Jan 2006 I was tooling around in another part of the administrator panel for this website, and discovered there were 142 emails sent to ray at raywhiting dot com -- why didn't I get them???? OHHHhhhh nooooooo.... when I changed hosting packages for raywhiting.com and knitivity.com I failed to set up the alias for ray at raywhiting dot com. SHEESSH!!! And now everybody probably thinks I'm just ignoring them. I'm a bad, bad person... <*whine*> No, I'm not -- just sorta distracted lately, trying to get a handle on all these various details. Well, after deleting all the spam and crap, there are only 12 emails from the last 3 weeks that needed to be read, and not all of those need a specific response. But those who do will certainly get them! But first I have to re-arrange my email programs to be sure I don't lose any more! YIKES!!!! If you have written and didn't get a response, please let me know, 'kay? |
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Sloggy Moist Sundry Notes 21 Jan 2006 Okay, it's raining this weekend. Indoor activities seem to be called for, I suppose. Yesterday, TWO more small boxes of goodies came for Bundle Up New Orleans. Tickled my heart enormously! Yes, indeed. I could very happily see myself doing this on a larger scale, if there was a way to support myself in the process. I need to research the breadth and depth of knitting/crocheting charities across the country, find out who is doing what, all their structures, and how to maintain an on-going charitable effort over the long haul. I don't need to duplicate someone else's project or focus, and ideally would like to unite many of the ongoing efforts if I could. Or at least form cooperative partnerships. Yesterday morning I got to attend a full cancer center meeting, with all the faculty, researchers, and staff, to hear the new director's vision of recovery for the cancer center. Good ideas, sharp and focused. Fortunately, the new interim director isn't much of a guy for politics and control. He expects everyone to do their part, form alliances and cooperative efforts and bring the cancer center together. That's a good thing, in my opinion. Someone mentioned there's a rumor that I may be leaving. Gosh, I don't know WHERE they got that idea! Hahahaha. My departure is at least three months down the road, nothing for immediate concern. I've still not had opportunity to discuss it with my boss, which has to come before announcing a firm date to anyone else. As long as I can get my ass out of here before the brunt of the hurricane season, I'll be fine. The world seems to have had a good laugh at New Orleans -- the mayor, the city, the racism, the politics. I think most people are pretty much over it, but there's no telling how much damage that guy caused in terms of long-term aid for the city, along with loss of good-will and general tourism. I am excited for the future. Not sure what the future will actually bring, but I know there is a future beyond working for the state or living in New Orleans. That's pretty cool. Into the day I go. What's on your agenda this weekend? |
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WOWEEE!!!! 19 Jan 2006 Last night at the Knitting Meetup there was TWENTY FIVE knitters who showed up, not counting infants and toddlers. Very cool! And I brought home a WONDERMOUS pile of knitted hats and scarves that people have contributed toward Bundle Up New Orleans. Today I went to Office Depot and got one of those hang-tag guns, that poke a little plastic thingie through a label and the garment, like you see on clothes all the time at the store. Well, silly me!!! It shoots those little plastic hanger thingies through a HOLLOW NEEDLE that you poke through the garment ... or your finger, accidentally. GodblessAmerica that thing is bigger than a blood-draw needle at the phlebotomy center. GEEZ-UM!!!!! Okay, so after it quit bleeding I was able to finish tagging all the goodies, Melissa picked them up, and they are now on their way to the food bank. But now, I'm stirred. Troubled. Angered. Confused. I dunno. The things being knitted for this project are going to a food bank in a predominately black neighborhood. Very, very black, in fact. Makes no matter to me, of course, it's just generally known as a black neighborhood. That location was picked because it is also known as a low-income, poor neighborhood; it suffered a lot of damage and trouble because of the hurricane; and many of the residents are just now coming back to New Orleans. There is a need there. Today while perusing some of the various neighborhood forums, I got to read some of the attitudes being expressed around town. It is horrid to listen to the white supremacist crowd, of course, and nobody in their right minds actually believes whites are any better (by any measure or category) than any other race. But reading the anti-white sentiments today makes me wonder why should I be asking mostly white knitters around the country to pitch in to help the people of the neighborhood where such sentiments are being spewed. I won't even print their comments, but the anti-white distrust and outright hatred is phenomenal. I mean, some of these people are STILL angry that their ancestors were sold to our European white ancestors. WTF??? Get over it already, there's nobody holding you back any more, nobody alive today owes "restitution" and nobody alive today deserves "restitution" for something that was begun in this country hundreds of years ago, and was ended 150+ years ago. GET THE FUCK OVER IT and take some personal responsibility. In real life, it will not at all change our choice of distribution site, because I know in my heart that the majority of people trying to get back to town and get on with their lives don't care who makes these things or how they get delivered or anything else. When it gets cold, they are grateful for a hat or scarf. Yes, it's just a simple little thing, but for many who make them, it's the only way they are able to help in their own ways; especially people at a distance who want to do something, anything, but they aren't here and able to do something bigger. Nobody asked me to do anything, nobody said all us white folks need to make stuff for the blacks because they can't do it for themselves, nobody said any of us was expecting anything in return for it. And, thankfully, nobody has actually said anything negative specifically to me about this project, so I'm not being personally victimized. But I'm just generally feeling a bit awkward about it all -- does it matter that I'm a white guy trying to head up a project to help folks in a black neighborhood??? I don't think so, but reading some of the posts I read today, I find myself thinking, "Well, damn, I'll go find some other folks to help if you don't want it." It's just aggravating. I have never thought of myself as a racist, or even particularly prejudiced, althought I admit I have my own set of biases, like anyone does. I have not once considered this project as if it was some White Charity for the Black Folks, but that's how I feel. I don't like it. |
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End of Day is better 17 Jan 2006 It just doesn't stop, does it? I started off with an administrative staff meeting for the small band of remaining staffers for the cancer center. From that came a couple more task assignments for me to pursue this week. That's fine, I can do it. I'm just grateful I'm not being required to move into one of the campus buidings even for temporary, at least not at this time. I'm not part of the grants-and-research process, haven't got a clue what they do or how they do it, so I'm not sure I'd be all that much help on more than just basic paperwork. I don't mind. I can facilitate certain menial functions just fine and let the thinking-brains tackle the long-term projects. The work is important and needs to be done, of course. I just don't think it's useful to get me embroiled in the process, only for me to leave in a few months and they'd have to train someone else. As for the mayor's significant boo-boo yesterday. Well, they've tried airing his public apologies all over the place. Sorry. Too little, too late. Not impressed. And, I did hear back from the pattern writing folks. That felt good and alleviated some of my insecurity. I still need to ramp up my efforts and make sure everything I do as absolutely as perfect as I can make it. But it's good to know I'm not out of the running on the basis of one test pattern. Lots to learn, and it is entirely up to me to learn the minutea and get it right. Hell, I've done that before, and done it well, so I'm not worried about that. I just need to learn their way of doing it. I can do that. It is worth the effort to ensure a portion of my income. And then comes lots of personnel changes among the various projects and groups I work with. Oy vey!!! All of this reminds me that I need to assemble a fairly thorough manual of what I *actually* do and how I do it, so that whoever comes behind me will have a more clear path to follow than what I found back in 1992. Hell, since my predecessor was found embezzling Board funds, I had NO one telling me what needed to be done. I pretty much invented the details of my work. Part of me would love to just walk off and let the next person invent their own work as well, since the job itself has changed and will continue to change post-Katrina. But there are certain essentials that should be communicated -- it would be wrong for me to deliberately leave the next person without a clue. Wouldn't it? The largest part of it is entirely inside my own head, and not someplace where another person would find useful help. So, I do need to put as much into writing as possible, no? Oh yes, and I've gotten several wonderful emails from people around the country, letting me know they are knitting or crocheting or sending hats and scarves -- building momentum for a short-term project is difficult, and I believe that if I take it into a national relief-effort project, it will do better. There needs to be a standing network of people ready to target help to whatever place needs it -- a network of craftspeople contributing a steady flow of hats, scarves, mittens, and blankets, so that when a crisis hits, we are already stocked and ready to ship out things to families in need. Trying to create a lone, one-time project is quite difficult. Building the network first, and being ready to shift and channel help as it is needed is much more effective. I will need help and direction on how to create such a national effort, but I do believe it is both possible and necessary. I mean -- is there already a national organization of crafters working to create needed goods for flooded cities, earthquake victims, or even smaller things: families who lose everything in a house fire, for example. I see "Afghans for Afghan", projects to help the earthquake survivors in Pakistan, the Tsunami survivors, and a whole lot of localized and networked groups making things for preemies, stillborns, and so forth. But who do people call on when they don't fit one of these niche groups but still they need help? I'll continue to let it roll over in my brain a bit, but I am really wondering if it is up to me to create a national collective of crafters to have a ready stock of goods on hand to immediately deliver to those in need wherever they are, when they need it -- not having to start over with a new 'drive' for each new need. That just wastes time. What I envision, in abstract form, is having a single national resource (perhaps with regional or state-based affiliates) so that if, for example, the Jones family's house burns down, their local Red Cross affiliate or church group or whatever, contacts us, tells us how many in the family, what they need in the way of bundling up stuff, and within 24 hours a package is on the way to the family .... NOT building a campaign and waiting a week or two for people to respond. And, I know Red Cross and other places are among the first responders, but who supplies Red Cross with such things? So much to figure out. I know there are needs all the time around the world, and around the country. I just need to figure out how to effectively meet those needs for the right people at the point of their need, with immediacy and compassion. And, I would have to figure out how, as a national director, I could do it on a very low budget. Obviously I couldn't do such a thing without an income, but I don't see this as a money-making effort, either. |
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Up all Night 17 Jan 2006 Something is drastically wrong today. I don't know why but I fell asleep around 10:30 or so and the promptly woke again before midnight, fading in and out until about 1:30, and I've been awake ever since. I 'm in no shape to try being effective at working much today, but there are issues that must be dealt with. I'll go as long as I can, crash a bit, and start over. I am particularly distressed (still) about the mayor's idiotic comments yesterday, and now this morning listening to the national opinions. Holy shit, the guy pretty much fucked up any chance of New Orleans getting all the aid they've been requesting. Who in their right minds would send wads and wads of money into a city under the 'leadership' of this nut case??? Oh yeah, and it doesn't help that I'm having minor spasms up and down the muscles of my back, and a twinge of sciatica down the right hip. Damn, this is going to be a "fun" day, huh? |
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I'm shocked! 16 Jan 2006 I honestly don't know what to make of this: Mayor Nagin: New Orleans Will Be 'Chocolate' Again Nagin: New Orleans will be "Chocolate" again God is Mad At America ... and at blacks! What's up with this? Was our mayor on drugs or something???? Sheesh!!!!! According to the comments posted after this survey the majority of the population are just as astounded as I am. And when he was questioned about his comments, he tried to back-pedal by saying "You take dark chocolate and mix it with white milk ... you get a delicious drink. That's the kind of chocolate I'm talking about." Oh bull-fucking-shit!!!! A couple months ago, he opened his mouth about all the illegal workers flocking to the city to do the clean up work that locals weren't doing. He cried, "I don't know how to prevent New Orleans from becoming predominately Hispanic" or words to that effect. How asinine!!!!!! Well, there's plenty of flap about this on the forums, of course. And there are the expected few who pretend not to grasp the blatant racism, but the majority of people are just plain angry. Why should I give a fuck about this city any more, when the Mayor has clearly said whites don't matter? I'm just thoroughly disgusted by all of this, and all the flap on the forums, and all the rest. This is 2006, not 1965. WHY are our elected leaders allowed to continue such racist bullshit? I know, I know ... the media and politicos will try to excuse it, dress it up pretty, and gloss it over. But, dammit, there's just NO WAY the guy can UNring the racist bell he rang all by himself. |
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G'morning! 15 Jan 2006 Wow. Here's some interesting numbers, courtesy of the Baton Rouge Advocate:
That sort of puts things into perspective regarding the largest natural disaster in American history -- almost nine times as many homes destroyed by Katrina as were destroy by Andrew. And Andrew destroyed just a little more than all the homes destroyed by area hurricanes in 2004, combined. Adding to the picture is the fact that Katrina didn't pick out homes and leave schools, hospitals, churches, city halls, and shopping centers. And the utilities for such places were also wiped out. Along with all the other data in this article (and dozens more just like it from many sources), recovery in New Orleans will not be a quick-fix. Five to ten year projections might even be too optimistic, in my opinion. Small wonder I don't care to stick around that long, eh? Anyway, today is Sunday, and I'm not wearing my MagicMan Cape to fix the city's troubles in a single bound (hey, it's my day off, y'know?), so I'm going to take my knitting up to Cafe Luna and have a coffee and knit and perhaps meet some of the other folks on the nola.com forums. It is a bit chilly this morning, and I don't like trying to ride my bike into a strong wind, so I'll take the bus up there, or maybe walk.... or at least maybe walk back. That will be my exercise for the day. Yesterday I moved some of my tiny treasures into a different cabinet, so that I could see them more easily and more regularly.
Then there's a tiny hand-carved little Nativity set that I found in the trash of a nearby Catholic School, tossed out with assorted holiday decorations. I'm not Roman Catholic, nor am I particularly interested in the Nativity scene as religious significata (is that really a word? it should be, but I just made it up). I took it because someone somewhere took the time to carve out those tiny figures, and it meant something to the artist. The work is crude, perhaps one of a million duplicate sets from a sweat shop somewhere. No matter. Hand-work is a treasure and the artist should be honored for the work. It is now arranged on top of a wooden block I found, which is on top of an Asian style flat vase or flower prop. Around it are many of my gems, crystals, and stones, plus a teeny-tiny little antique miniature car that a friend gave me, tied into the ribbon of another gift he was giving me. I don't recall the other gift, but I kept the trinket from the ribbon. Is that weird? On the far left is a small stone on a 3-legged pedestal. The pedestal is actually a wooden massage tool that a co-worker gave me. The stone on top is a rock my granddaughter gave me from her yard -- she found it, thought it was pretty and gave me to me. That's what makes it special, y'know? On the bottom shelf is a picture of my Deefer, a miniature "lunch box" given to me by a co-worker filled with little chocolate candies (candies long gone, of course), and a brass sailboat found in someone's trash, mounted on a slab of marble. To the left is a miniature ceramic stein that my sister brought back from Germany after the Santa Barbara High School Madrigals did a concert tour around Europe many many years ago (20-25 years ago...??). In front is a ceramic hand-warmer -- looks like an antique book, but there's a cork at the top; you fill it with hot water, cork it, and hold in your mitten-wrapped hands to keep warm. It was a buck or two at a yard sale or shop clearance or something, but looked sooo interesting I just had to have it. I have lots of little treasures like this, and I could probably tell the story of each one. These things will go with me wherever I move. They are more important than new furniture, modern appliances, or even this year's fashions. |
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My Twisted Brain 14 Jan 2006 I was perusing the forums this morning and someone commented on the "plan" for restoring New Orleans, "My PowerPoint does work." I knew what he meant, of course -- the slide show discussion of the BNOB Plan wasn't showing correctly in his monitor. But what came to my mind when I read it was that his "power point" was "flaccid" -- another euphemism for ... ummm... well, you know! I just realized I didn't post yesterday, Friday the 13th. Hmmm.... it wasn't planned or deliberate, I just didn't have much to say. What's a guy to do? Well, yes... "Keep knitting" is the obvious answer. And keep talking about Bundle Up New Orleans. I have LOADS of yarns that need to be knit up, and only so many hours in a day when I can actually knit. Plus, a short cold season in which to focus on this project. By March or April the need will be pretty much a moot point for this season, and I don't plan to be here next cold season (barring unforeseen circumstances, of course). Ahhh well.... into the evening I go! |
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No, really... it DOES get cold here! 12 Jan 2006 I've been seriously questioning EVERYthing this week, not the least of which is that we've been in the 60s and 70s lately, barely cool enough for a sweater, much less a scarf, cap, or mittens. Sheesh!!!! How is anyone going to take me seriously about the need for winterwear if I'm running about in a t-shirt? Well, I KNOW it DOES turn cold here during the winter. Even if it isn't blistering cold for months at a stretch, when it does get it, it's c-c-c-cold!!! So, I have to believe that Bundle Up New Orleans is a good and worthy project. And, because I know that some parts of North America have longer cold weather than here in the South of the USA, that there is potential for Bundle Up to become a national, or North American charity project. I have no idea how to create a national charity with regional or state coordinators, or facilitators in each city to collect winterwear and make sure it gets into the right hands. I'll have to think about it. I'm not sure about the pattern-writing job. I didn't do so well as they had wanted -- partly because the training was poor, and some of the instructions weren't clear. But then, some of it WAS clear -- I just didn't see it until the "corrected" version of what I'd done was returned to me. Not sure if they'll pursue it or not. But I would think it highly unfair to test someone on new skills without training and without a break-in period to learn how to conform to the desired methods. Oh well, I'll wait and see what comes of it. My problem isn't in understanding the pattern, but taking what I understand and writing it in such a way that a beginner can follow along step by step. Whatever. And there is rumor that I may have to take up temporary offices at a different location -- or at one of several different locations. I don't know for sure. What I DO know is that going away to meetings and coming home late in the afternoon feels toooo much like (dangerously too much like) "same old same old" -- go to work, get bored, come home, repeat. It would be really easy to get lulled back into a routine, thinking things are returning back to "normal". But when I do that, I suddenly feel that old familiar "stuckness" coming over me and it makes my skin crawl. We'd been told that the Army Corps of Engineers would return the levees to at least as good as before Katrina (although we found out that the levees weren't even as good then as we'd been led to believe!!!), and now the Army Corps of Engineers is saying they aren't even confident of the levees being ready by next hurricane season. So they're going to try to install flood gates at each of the drainage canals dumping into Lake Ponchartrain, so that if another storm surge comes up they can shut the gates and the waters won't rush up into the canals and wash out more of the levees. Ummm.... somehow I'm not convinced. And I am not convinced that the city will be able to sustain itself with barely 1/4 or 1/3 of the population that used to be here. In my teeny-tiny go-to-work reality, things aren't so bad this particular week. But I know that the city itself is going to hell in a handbasket, the infrastructure is shot to hell, there is no real hurricane protection for this area and won't be (can't be) for several years to come. And with increased hurricanes, and stronger storms, predicted for the next many years, I just don't want to be lulled into complacency and "back to normal" routine. So, whatever it takes, I have to find a way out of here before the next hurricane season gets into full swing. That means I will need to leave the job so that I get my retirement money out in time to move on that money. I know, I know.... you should leave retirement money alone, but dammit it I wasn't planning to stay here until retirement (another 15 years) anyway, so fuck it. It's all a matter of timing, I suppose, but I know if I stay at this job until XXXXXXXXX (you didn't really think I'd put the actual target date, did you????), I will have enough to live on here until the retirement money is distributed (it takes 9-12 weeks sometimes), which will then fund me for 8-12 months in Houston while I get myself set up. Yes, it will require STRICT limits on spending, but so what? It'll be worth it in the long run, I think. Soooo.... becoming the national director for Bundle Up (wouldn't that be cool -- getting to travel to regional offices, doing workshops on quick-knits for charity, and getting to see first hand how the hand-work of crafters are helping real life people), doing free-lance pattern-writing on the side, licensing some of my designs for production and mass marketing .... many opportunities and possibilities are opening up. And if one thing or another thing falls through, I am confident that there are other opportunities waiting in the wings to make their audition. Why let myself get blue and down by current temporary circumstances and insecurities? I'll be fine. I've always been fine, or at least turned out fine eventually, so I'm moving forward. Why not? |
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Another Airplane Dream 11 Jan 2006 Wow. I know damn well that i've had at least one airplane dream since returning from Houston. And last night was a doozy! In my dream I was driving (!) (yes, a car... I was driving it) and heard on a radio or something that two planes were coming in to land almost simultaneously. I don't know how I was tuned into the traffic control tower radio, but I was listening to the controller getting upset that two planes were coming in on the same runway. I was apparently driving a stretch of road next to the airport, with the airstrip on my right. I could see two passenger jetliners to my right (maybe 727s? 737s?), one looking like it was about to fly up the tail pipe of another. Suddenly the one in front veer a bit to the right, and the one in the rear nosed up sharply and went into an almost vertical climb. Not even two seconds after that, I glanced rightward and saw at last 8 or 10 more jetliners, all visible next to, behind, slightly above, and near each other, all heading the same direction (right at ME!). They were all within a mile or so, and converging on me, like so many dive-bombing pigeons. Close enough that I could see the pilots windows at the front of each one. All I could think of was that I needed to step on the gas and get out of the way. It was startling to see so many passenger jets all coming right at me, but I didn't feel scared or panicked or anxious about it. I just needed to get out of the way. Then I woke up, wondering what the fuck that was about. I know that yesterday I was feeling stressed and pissy. I'm trying to figure out what's up with these damned recurring and expanding airplane dreams. The first one I remember was when I was stationed in Athens, Greece, 30 years ago. I've always considered the airplane dreams to be signs of trouble, or doom, or something -- a plane crash can never been a good thing, can it? But, now that I think of it, I can't remember if I've ever actually seen any of them crash (maybe I did, I just don't recall it at this moment). At first it was little planes far, far away, barely visible, appearing ready to crash. Over the years, the planes have become progressively larger and closer. And they used to be lone planes in various sizes and distances from me. Last night was the first time I'd seen even two at a time, and then immediately followed in the same setting by so many all at once. These airplane dreams are becoming increasingly vivid, intense, and up-close. What does it mean??? One site says this: Dream symbol: aeroplane Interpretation: Another place says this (this one has a highly annoying tickly new-agey "music" in the background): Also, the type of flying I'm referring to, here, is the person flying on their own without an airplane or any aircraft at all. That would be a different symbol dealing with spiritual awareness, among other things. Still another says: Airplane If you piloted the airplane successfully, you may consider it an omen for unusual achievement in your business or in some extracurricular enterprise. Airplanes dropping bombs forecast disturbing news; flying in formation they portend financial gain (if the weather was good), but if the weather was bad, you may be in for a rough business ride. If you fell (or bailed) out of an airplane, you may expect some temporary reverses. If you were traveling by plane, you will probably hear news from a distance or concerning someone who lives far away. And then there's this: Airplane Well, whatever. I understand that airplanes can represent freedom, higher consciousness, spirituality, and so forth. And perhaps they portend of great things to come. Weird that in one sequence I'd see two planes nearly crashing, then both suddenly splitting off and going different directions. And (as with all my previous airplane dreams), these were apart from me, and I was viewing from the side of the action, not personally threatened. But then here comes all these other huge airliners coming in right at me, and not parallel to me. WTF??? Does this mean that I should be expecting super-abundance of good things (spiritual insights? material goods? business opportunities?) from a distance? This would be cool, since I'm hoping to build several income streams, all operated over the Internet somehow -- but maybe it just means there will be a sudden influx of knitted goods from all over the world for the Bundle Up New Orleans project....? Heck, I don't know. But it will be interesting to see what happens in the next few months, eh? |
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Icky Icky Icky 10 Jan 2006 Didn't sleep well last night, been cranky, irritable, out-of-sorts, pissed-off, moody, bitchy, and generally unpleasant all day. If I didn't have to stay here and work, I'd leave so I would not have to hang around me at all today. My legs, feet, arms, wrists, hands, and feet hurt. A cold front is moving in. I don't want to do ANYthing else today except just feel better somehow in my physical body. It doesn't help that I've had to fuck around with obnoxiously impossible work-related projects, incomplete and/or incomprehensible instructions, and generally uncooperative softwares as well. And, it also doesn't help that the things that need to get done today, or at least this week, or NOT the things that will ultimately move me forward. And the things that WILL move me forward are taunting me in the back of my head, saying, "Why bother? It ain't gonna work out anyway, so you might as well just stick with the job you have." NNNooooooooooo.... that is NOT what I want, and not what will ultimately benefit my life long-term. If I get stuck here long-term I will just die. And I have no intention of dieing on account of this (or any) job. Yeah, I know -- it's all just part of the emotional ups and downs of making life changes, wanting to be moving forward faster and just BE already in the place I am aiming to GET to. BEing one place or another isn't a big deal, but GETTING from HERE to THERE Mo' Late-ah -- Mo' Bettah I'm feeling a little better this evening. I turned off my office email at 4:00. I'd just had enough fucking around with icky stuff. I met someone in one of the forums who had loads of packing boxes to give away, so I went over to see her this evening. Good thing I did. She works with some sort of national distribution network for marketing 'gifts' and things -- she is currently showing and selling NEXT CHRISTMAS stock for merchants all over the state. HOLY SHIT!!!! But that's not the good part. The good part is that she knows loads of little bitty artists (like me) who make little one-of-a-kind things .... and takes them to the licensing shows to show off their wares .... and get licensing agreements to have their work or designs reproduced overseas and marketed. Hmmmmm.... I'm not sure if that's something I'm willing to do just now. The important thing is that this happenstance connection led to more information, more options, and different ways of thinking about how to market my stocking designs (and just about anything else, I suppose, eh?). So, yeah, I do feel better for having walked over there (about 12 blocks) and pushed back my granny cart full of cardboard boxes for packing, when the time comes. Until then they will live comfortably under my bed, of course. I felt the impetus to get THESE boxes, but I think that it was just an excuse so that I'd go talk to this women and get the information she was oh-so-willing to share with me. And she did tell me how to Google the correct information. Oh yeah, and I do feel better for just getting out of the house today, too, although my legs, knees, hips, back and feet hurt like hell. Sheesh!!! Even so, getting out of the house was important and good. So, now, I'll go into the evening and continue working on projects that will carry me to my future, eh? Am I just wacko, having all these ups and downs??? is this "normal" ??? |
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My Bright Ideas 9 Jan 2006 This is what I do when I can't get to sleep, when my head is filled with notions of "what could be". I write!
This is the notebook (hardbound journal with lined pages) sitting on the little desk by my bedside. It is filled with bright ideas -- ideas so illuminating in their brilliance I can't sleep for all the glow. Well, okay, maybe not that brilliant, perhaps, but when my mind is going at such a fast clip that I cannot get to sleep, it helps to just write it all down, get it out of my head and onto the paper. This sometimes helps me to get to sleep when I need to. Last night, it wasn't all that helpful. I got most of it written down, in 'snippet' format, and that's okay. But I still took another two hours to get toward anything resembling sleep, and woke frequently in the night. Fortunately, my head was filled with good stuff, cool idea, and visions of great things to come, rather than reliving various scenes from the Hurricane and its aftermath. :-) This is good. I have a full and busy day today, so onward into the day I go. Do you keep a nightbook to capture the ideas that keep you awake? |
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What have I done???? 8 Jan 2006 It would be really easy for me, today, to crawl under a rock and weep out loud "ohmahgawd, what have I done? what have I gotten myself into?" Bundle Up New Orleans is growing. People are interested in helping. I am very excited about it, of course (duuhhh), but wondering if I have bitten off a little more than I can chew. Hmmmmm. And what have I done about work, too? Holy Crap! People are spreading rumors around work that I might be <*gasp*> leaving!!!! Where the hell did they get THAT crazy idea? Well, okay, so it's not if I'm leaving but when. And it is not a secret that I've not been 100% happy with things in New Orleans, or at the job, for quite a while, even before Katrina wreaked havoc across the land. Like my brother said a while back, Katrina was just the last straw, the catalyst or impetus to actually get off my ass to do what I know I have to do ... what I've know for a long time. For anyone seriously interested in all the reasons for my decisions, of course, I'll be happy to spell it out ... in due time. Hell, I will probably write a book about it! What I DO need to spell out quite clearly, of course, is that I am not "running away from" New Orleans. I could have "run away" many times before. It is a very sharp and clear distinction that I am "running TO" something. Running away FROM never works, because wherever you go, there you are. And the single common denominator in all your fucked up situations is (ta-daaa!) YOU! So, I have sat tight until I have had something big enough worth running TO. When I saw my boss the other day, he fairly well bristled at the notion I might be leaving, and said, "You'll not be able to replace what you have now" , regarding a fairly secure paycheck, good people to work with, longevity with the state, and some of the other positive things about my current job. I knew what he meant, and I appreciate it, but in the back of my head I saw the picture of a couple breaking up.... She's weeping and drippy all over the guy, crying, "But you'll never find anyone like me." He says, "Well, duuhh... that's kind of the point, isn't it?" And, of course, I didn't come right out and tell my boss I'm leaving. I just suggested I'm looking at other options and still "undecided" about whether I want to remain in New Orleans. Once I have my timeline established, he will be the first one I tell, very clearly and very directly, and face to face, over coffee or something. He's a good guy (really good guy), and deserves a face to face. I respect him and I will give it to him straight up. But that's several months down the road, and there are projects that need to be finished before I can just bag it all up. What I have has been wonderful for many years. But I'm over it. It's time for something else in my life. And it's time to take the opportunity before I allow myself to get settled back into the same ruts I was in before Katrina. And it's time to take the opportunity while I am still young enough to make a reasonable attempt to make it work for me, rather than waiting it out until "retirement" and hoping there will be a way to survive then. By moving forward, I am actively declaring that I refuse to be a victim of Katrina, of local economics, local politics, local bullshit, and everything else. By consciously making choices for what I want in my life, I am finally taking authority for my own future. By willingly setting aside what IS for what CAN BE, I am also recognizing that I have to live with the consequences of whatever happens. YIKES! To remain in New Orleans, at this job, in this house, I would remain in "default" mode, allowing circumstances to happen, moving here or there by default of whatever the next storm might bring, or the next round of state layoffs, or the next "whatever". Fuck it. I'm not going to do that any more. I've done that. It's been a fun ride. I've learned a lot. Scared as hell, of course, but so what? What's the absolute worst that could happen? I could fall on my face, embarrass myself in front of my kids, take a job schlepping burgers or being a "greeter" at Whatever*Mart or something. Uhhh.. SO????? Life is for living, and what I've been doing in New Orleans is NOT LIVING. So there! |
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Truthiness 7 Jan 2006 Truthiness is the word of the year according to this article at CNN.com. One of the best paragraphs of the article: "The national argument right now is, one, who's got the truth and, two, who's got the facts," he said. "Until we can manage to get the two of them back together again, we're not going make much progress." Until TRUTH and FACT are together, New Orleans is going to remain fucked up. Well, no, the article isn't about New Orleans; it's about linguistics across the country, where new words and phrases come from. Like "whale tail" -- that unfortunate event when the top of a thong rides high above the jeans worn over it. (UGH!!!) Well, anyway, so starts my day -- perusing the headlines. Thanks to a tip from my buddy Fran I was actually looking for the idiotic statement by none other than the Rev. Pat Robertson, when he said that Arial Sharon's stroke was divine retribution for pulling Israel out of Gaza. Now, this is the same idiot who told folks in Dover, PA not to ask God for help if disaster strikes, because the city voted out the school board on the issue of teaching "Intelligent Design" in schools. This is also the same idiot who early-on said AIDS was God's punishment for homosexuality, and also threatened some sort of divine destruction on Orlando because Walt Disney World allowed a Gay Day at their theme park. The guy is an idiot, which all rational people pretty much agree on. But he seems to think that a tiny piece of land "belongs to God" and shame on Arial Sharon for pulling "God's people" off that land. Well, ummmm.... 'scuze the fuck outta me, but MY Bible says this: "The earth is the Lord's, and the fullness thereof." (I Cor. 10.26) This was written in the context of people who eat certain foods, while others abstain from certain foods for "religious reasons" ... like pork! Paul's advice, EAT, because it is all from God. All of the earth, and everything in it, is God's. So what's the deal about claiming this little strip of land is God's, and everything else is not? And as for Pat Robertson's utter lack of compassion for a man lying in a hospital bed, in a medically induced coma, perhaps in his very last days ... well, it is clear that Robertson is not "Christian" in the traditional sense of the word. He may claim to be, but he has co-opted the word to mean what HE wants it to mean (i.e., "those who agree with me and my politics are "Christian", and those who disagree are not "Christian" and will be experiencing God's wrath and retribution.) Christianity is not a political party. It's a way of life, a way of relating to Life and It's participants. Robertson's way of relating to Life and It's participants is to distance himself. And that's just bullshit. When we were all strangers gathered at the 'refugee house' up the street after Katrina, nobody asked "What's your political party? What's your religion?" It was a bunch of people needing shelter, food, water -- the basic essentials of survival. And the "Christian" thing to do (which we did) was to share and share alike, each person contributing what they had and no more. The resources were not doled out by how much a person was able to scavange or loot from the stores, or bring from their trashed out homes. The resources were shared according to need. I did not hear one person say "But I brought this pile of food, you can't have from this pile." Well, anyway, I could write on and on and on about such things. Fran asks if Robertson is senile. Hell no, that would be a blessing if he was senile, because we could more easily dismiss his foolishness. But he is couching himself under the banner of one of the most socially-acceptable addictions in this country: fundamentalism. OH! Last night I watched the premier of a new show on TV called "The Book of Daniel" (on NBC), starring Aidan Quinn as an Episcopal priest (as is his father, who is a bishop). The bishop over Daniel's diocese, played by Ellen Burstyn (!) is apparently having an affair with Daniel's father, while the guy's wife (Daniel's mother) is slipping further and further into senility. Daniel's brother in law has just run off with $3.2 million in church funds, but then he ends up dead. Daniel and his wife apparently lost one son to leukemia, prompting the other son (the GAY son) to change the focus of his medical studies from pediatrics to oncology. Another son, an adopted Asian boy, is suffering raging hormones, getting it on regularly with the daughter of one of the church elders ... whose wife is totally against the relationship because "I won't have little Oriental babies running around MY Christmas tree!" Daniel is addicted to vicodin (which he shared with the lady bishop, Ellen Burstyn, who admits "I love codeine"). Geez! Oh yeah, and through it all, Jesus appears to Daniel, engaging in conversation -- in the car, in the hallway upstairs, outside in a driveway -- with Jesus giving simple advice. No astounding miracles, no whoop-and-holler flashes of light .... he's just the stereotypical "Jesus" model, long hair, beard and robes, chatting like some ordinary dude. Personally, I wouldn't want to play that role -- same costume in every scene??? Puh-leeeze!!!! But since nobody but Daniel can see him, I guess it is best to stick with the tried-and-true stereotypical Caucasian "Jesus". The whole show (a 2-hour series premier last night) is SOOO over the top, touching on just about every possible human frailty, is completely funny and fun. Which means there will be LOTS of people angry about it because someone is finally depicting religious leaders as human beings with human problems and family issues and all the rest of the goodies that come with living on this earth. Some folks just cannot tolerate such a depiction. All the more reason to watch the show and laugh it up. I laughed out loud through the entire 2 hour show! And it doesn't hurt that Christian Campbell (Neve Campbell's brother) is the one playing the gay son. Aidan Quinn, Ellen Burstyn, Christian Campbell -- good central cast, in my opinion. |
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Piling Up 5 Jan 2006 Wow.... It took longer than I thought to get all these balls done, but I got it done. Whew!!!!
Word is getting out...slowly, but surely, and I am confident that, one way or another, all of this yarn will be used for Bundle Up New Orleans. I mentioned last month that I'd be trying out pattern-writing for a yarn company. Well, I got the first sample/test pattern yesterday and need to turn it in tomorrow. Thankfully I also got an outline instruction sheet for how they like it to be done. Very cool. So, if I 'pass the test' I guess that means I'm a free-lance pattern writer! Woo-hoo. There's a lot else going on in my head tonight about all the changes I am making in my life. My future is no longer in the realm of "gosh, someday I wanna...." "Someday" is actually just a few months away. I am highly tickled and charged up ... and very much scared at the same time. The sense of "security" I had before Katrina blew my world apart was a luxury that I no longer have. Things are changing at work (the dynamics and personnel), things are changing in the city, and things are changing in me. And, in turn, this puts a lot of other things into motion. OHMAHGAWD!!!!! The next 4-5 months are going to be REALLY busy. I am taking my life into my own hands ... and I think I like it!!!!
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Hey! You wanna play wiff my BALLS???? 4 Jan 2006 Oh, get your head outta the gutter! I meant BALLS OF YARN! Lookie here:
Thanks to some wonderful cash gifts from distant places (Thanks, Mike! Thanks, Kevin!) I was able to go buy 40 more balls of yarn (the ones with white bands on them, in the front of the heap), and because it is for Bundle Up New Orleans the owner at Garden District Needlework Shop gave me a good discount on it. This evening I will be converting the store-bought balls into center-pull balls for use on the knitting machine. For some reason, whenever I fail to ball my yarns, and use it straight as it came from the store, I inevitably find little joints and knots. You can't knit knots into a garment!!!! You have to make a proper and invisible join. Knots turn into hard little nuggets that constantly rub against the soft yarns around it, thereby creating a worse hole than if you'd just not bothered joining at all. So I NEVER allow knots and joins in my yarns, UNTIL I am personally ready to make a join at a place where it will remain invisible without creating a nuggetty knot! And if I'm zipping along on the machine and one of those little store-bought knots flows through into the carriage, it fucks up my rhythm, it jams the machine, and just really messes me up. I can see when a ball of yarn is about to run out (because I am intelligent and I have learned a skill or two!) and I can make an appropriate join in the appropriate manner at the appropriate place in the work, because, after all, I'm an appropriate kind of guy! Yes, I am! (and oh-so-modest about my own humility ... have you noticed?) And, while this project, and the rest of my Knivity plans, and my other projects are growing phenomenally, so does the work at my day job. There's just a lot to do this month, that's all. What can I say? But it's work I can do here, for the most part, putting in my allotted 8 hours. Usually what I've been doing is waking up early (before the crack of God, as they say) so by mid-day I've done as much or more as I used to do sitting in the office. And then I get a brief nap, and wake to fine another whole day in which to do my personal works. How cool is that. As long as the boss folks are happy, I'm not sure that it matters. So! Onward into the evening I go, playin' wiff mah balls.... oh yeah... roll 'em around, jus' roll 'em around.... hehehehehehehe (watch this space for pictures of wound up center-pull yarn balls tomorrow!) See ya! |
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Back to work 3 Jan 2006 Today was the end of the regularly scheduled Winter Holiday break at work. In practical terms, it meant I had to actually get up, get showered and dressed, and physically GO somewhere for a meeting mid-morning. It was mostly for faculty, as I'd mentioned before. and actually there will be parts of my program working there. There is an office, with four desks in it, committed to the cancer control programs. Fortunately I am NOT one of the four people who will be working there. I am grateful for many reasons, not the least of which is that I do not relish the idea of riding a bus an hour and a half or two hours in each direction. As it happened, I got a ride over there and back. I got to see yet another part of New Orleans that was destroyed. Thousands of homes up in that area of town, flooded out. I could still see the watermarks where the waters came up half-way to the roofs on some places, now mostly uninhabited, except for a very sparse smattering of FEMA trailers now and then. The lawns and shrubbery around these homes was either stripped barren or died. Anything once growing in those yards is now a dead, dull gray-brown shade of lost homes. |
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I passed the annual test!!!! 2 Jan 2006 This morning when I wrote my rent check, I wrote "2006". Yippeee!!!! I didn't write "2005" at all! Okay, so at least something is working right in my internal clocks! But it's been a weird day, anyway. I woke at 3:30 and couldn't get back to sleep, so I got up, did what I do in the morning, buzzed my head, showered, shaved, and so forth:
Whattaya think? Good enough for a close-up? I'm not fond of this little desktop camera, but it will suffice. It's not like I have anything worth showing off, y'know! And even after wiping my head, it's still shiny as hell! But I massage a drop of moisturizer after my shower to minimize dandruff and that dry, flakey, 'white' look that comes right after a buzz. Buzzing once a week is sufficient, although I manage to get it done only every couple of weeks. It only takes 5 minutes, I just don't always get around to it. And the stickly little burr makes it like Velcro™ to hold my knitted cap on! Speaking of which, this young new bride was complaining to her mother about her new husband's chronic dandruff and how he LOVED black clothes but got them all dusty, leading to LOTS of laundry. The mother said, "Give him some Head & Shoulders." The daughter said, "Do you think that will work?" The mother assured her, "Of course it will; it worked for your father." Then the daughter paused before asking, "Well ... okay, I understand the first part, but how do you 'give shoulders'?" Okay, so, anyway, I got up superearly this morning and into my routine. Shortly after 7:00 I felt exhausted, so I went back to bed and slept until 8:30. And then I got up feeling out of sorts, but went to the market anyway. It was grey, humid, dreary, and disgusting, and my legs were hurting when I got back. I lay down around 11:30 and didn't wake until almost 2:45!!!! Holy crap! What's up with that? It's totally going to fuck up my sleep schedule in the night time, and tomorrow I have to go back to work. I mean, actually get up, shower, shave, and get on a bus by 8:30 to make it to a 10:30 meeting across town. It's a faculty meeting to see who gets what sort of classroom and/or office facilities in a borrowed space on the UNO campus until our own building can be occupied again -- probably a couple months or more from now. My program won't be there, of course, so my attending the meeting is mostly political, showing that I'm still here and participating. And then, after that meeting, I'm going to meet with a priest at a Catholic Church because he was interested in participating in the Bundle-Up New Orleans program (as a distribution site, because his church is located in a really damaged part of town and people are starting to repopulate that area), and that is something personally important to me, so I have to try to make that meeting. A knitter friend is going to pick me up, or meet me there. I just got this link to a Herman comic strip. Funny! Go see! I need to get my brain and body back into cycles if I'm supposed to be "working" tomorrow, eh? See ya! |
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Well, boys and girls, it is 2006! 1 Jan 2006 So begins a new page in the Journal! Happy New Year, all y'all! I've gone back to the background I was using back in 1997. I feel a "Blue Jeans and T-Shirt" kind of year coming on. I might need to lighten up this box, however, so that I don't need to bold the font quite so much. Any thoughts? Actually, this is only temporary, because the blog itself will be moving to a subdomain (mylife.raywhiting.com), but that has to be set up still. But, as I promised, there is something new to entice the knitters (and others) in the crowd: "Bundle-Up New Orleans" is the first project being announced from Knitivity.com. There's still a bunch of work to that Website, too, but I wanted to put the community project up on time because we're (me and some fellow knitters from the Meet-Up) going to be working on activating the project this week. And I have four hefty baskets of yarns to be knitted up into scarves for the folks around town. I was sorely disappointed to learn that the "Tournament of Roses Parade" was not to be run this morning -- I assume because it is Sunday, and will instead be run tomorrow. How the hell can you have New Years Day without the parade???? Geez! But this afternoon I rented and watched "Saved!" -- a hilarious comedy about a "Christian" high school, including Macauley Culkin, Mary-Louise Parker, and a bunch of other folks. The only sane, 'real' people are the outcasts. I LOVED this movie -- especially when the Jewish girl (the only "jewess" in the school) pretends to start speaking in tongues during a school assembly. Totally funny send-up of all the hypocrisy and bullshit of such religious institutions. I am probably the last person in the world to have seen this one, but on the off chance you haven't seen it, go rent it. Now. Just do it! This weekend I have also watched "Wooly Boys" (cantankerous sheep-farmers -- Kris Kristofferson and Peter Fonda -- about one of the farmers, who dies, but not before he impacts his estranged grandson -- very good movie about familial relationships), "Beauty Shop" (with Queen Latiffa, Alicia Silverstone, and Kevin Bacon -- very funny, good for an idle afternoon), and "Must Love Dogs" (John Cusack and Diane Lane -- excellent and funny, too). So... did I sit on my ass watching movies? Nope. I mean, I DID watch a lot of movies this weekend, but, I balled up a mess of yarn for the charity knitting:
And I am also just a couple rows and a bind-off for a scarf knit for a friend:
So, you can rest your head about whether I'm turning into a toad. And I have also made sure I've taken walks and ridden my bicycle as well! I decided not to continue tracking the Kwanzaa principles. While the principles in themselves are worth pursuing, I found myself getting too pissed off at the racist bullshit wrapped up in it, and got tired of trying to dance around the fucking elephant in the living room. I am excited about this coming year, because there are definitely major changes coming. Thank you, Katrina, for nudging me along. Thank you, 2005, for all your lessons. Thank you, 2006, for all the promise and potential you bear toward me. And thank you, Dear Reader, for coming along for the ride! In the coming weeks I will be emptying out a lot of the archival stuff in this Website. I discovered there are scads of graphics and pictures and things that are simply not necessary to keep around any more and take up space on the server. |
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| Copyright ©2006, by Ray Whiting, New Orleans, LA |
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Up
at the top are some of my little bears, including Big Bear, with a leather
bow tie, and Business Bear, with green corduroy pants, blue shirt, and
red necktie, a few LSU Bears, and God in the middle. Actually it's a
tiny little figurine without flaw, that I found many years ago in the
trash of Orient Expressed -- with a $65.00 price tag stuck under the
black pedestal. Nothing wrong with it, just accidentally thrown out
with packing material, I'm sure. He came to my life unbidden, and stands
watch over my home. Hey, some folks have Buddha, I have Jesus (hay-soos).
Deal with it. 
