Just let me cry first
FUCK!!! š
Okay, so I went off to clinic for the CT Scan on the aorta. And then waited waited wait until it was time to go see the cardiac surgeon for the results. The CT scan itself wasn’t so bad, but I have to keep flushing with lots and lots of water to flush out the dye that they used. Okay, no big deal with that, I suppose. I can drink water.
Fortunately, my results were rushed, so I didn’t have to wait as long as original thought. I got see shortly after 2:00 instead of waiting until after 3:30.
When Dr. Mortazavi came in he spent a good long while clicking through the computer reviewing the results of the CT scan, and then he asked how I’m doing. I said not so good because I can’t work. He asked why not, so I said, “You told me not to exert myself, not lift over 10 pounds, not increase blood pressure or do anything to risk blowing out the aneurysm, so I’ve not been working.”
He said, “Well, it’ll be a while longer before you can work.” Oh shit!
Apparently my kind of aneurysm cannot be fixed by running a catheter up an artery through the groin. They’re going to have to cut me open. And they’re going to refer me to a different kind of surgeon who does that type of work, and put me in the hospital for that. And I have no idea how long that will put me away from everything, OR how long recovery will take before I can start throwing wet yarns and heavy steamers around. But he said I can’t do that just yet. FUCK!
He did say that there is a lot of scar tissue involved, that the aneurysm has been there a while, it didn’t just recently happen at once. So apparently I’ve been working with it like that for a while and didn’t even know it, but it possibly could have ruptured at any time. I really don’t know how these things actually work, but I’m not taking any unnecessary chances.
Oh yeah, and the colonoscopy on Friday just ain’t gonna happen. I’ve already been squeezed in to see this new cardiac surgeon on Thursday, so they’re making things happen quickly. I guess that’s a good thing, but I find it overwhelming. And I have no earthly idea how much of this will be covered under my MedicareAdvantage plan. The referral has already been approve, but I don’t know about hospitalization and after-care. And since I’ve been told not to work, I have no new money coming in. I will likely need to start a GoFundMe or something just to cover bills and shit and incidentals that would normally be covered by selling yarn.
Needless to say, I am not a happy camper. Yes, I realize this is all part of the process to get me well and shit, but what the fuck, man?
eta: Oh yeah, and the Lyft driver was an older white dude, nattering on and on about whatever but my head wasn’t into listening. At one point he said, “If you put a combat helmet on Donald Trump, he looks just like General Patton.” I zoned out after that. And when we got to my house, he said, “I’d like to pray for you before you get out.” I said, “That won’t be necessary,” and got out as quickly as I could.
A shit say-but positive news that your arenāt completely fucked Ray.
You can count on me to always help hon.
Much love from inside the loop here in Houston!
I am sorry for the health hell you are going through.
Iām putting on my nurseās cap for a second. Yes an open surgery is not ideal. That being said….you will go to a tertiary care hospital. You will have a a surgeon who only repairs aortas. You will be in a SICU for a period of time. Then you will go to a regular floor and possibly rehab.
Make a plan for the care of your property and kitties before going to see the surgeon. He may not admit you that day but pack a go kit just in case. Better to be prepared then be surprised. Most likely you will top his list for āelective aortic repairā to be done within 1-2 weeks. If you have that grace period, make sure everything is in order. Leave nothing for your children to worry about.
If you havenāt got a will or chosen a health care proxy….now is the time. There are free resources on line to create a document. Iām unsure of Texas law but you may need to file your will in probate court.
I know Iām being morbid but maybe you will print this out to help you when you can breathe.
I’m so sorry that it won’t be a quickie operation!
Oh Ray, I am so very sorry. At the same time, I think itās good that you now have the opportunity to have this fixed. If you start a Go Fund Me page, I will be there to help out. I feel so lucky that I am in the position to be able to help in some way. I think your main concern right now is to get someone to feed the boys till you return home. You are valued, you are loved. Sending hugs.
Ray, donāt get stupid and think that since youāve been working with this for some time, that itās okay to just do a little bit until you go in. Get this done and then let us know what youāre going to need and for how long. Iām not.quite ready to lose a close friend this year or next, so you have to give it your all.
Peace, friend!
I’m sorry to hear that this isn’t going to be easily fixed, but it still can be fixed. And as mentioned above, you’re going to have a specialist who does nothing but these types of surgeries. I wish I lived closer to you — even just to help take care of the boys for you. If there’s anything you need that we can do for you long-distance, let me know. I don’t have much to spare, but it’s yours if you need it.
Ray, I didn’t see your personal blog yesterday. This news is discouraging, but, I will applaud what Beth Goldman, the nurse, said above. Right now your biggest concerns are making sure the boys are cared for in your absence, focusing on getting well, and being prepared to be admitted any time you go see the doctor (have personal items, knitting projects, your phone and charger, and extra clothes packed).
While open surgery is not a first choice for anyone, you will be in the hands of a specialist who does that, and only that.
Once in the hospital, your biggest worry is not the surgery itself, but the risk of infection. And you DO have a voice in that.
Once you are awake and not foggy, ask for the head of housekeeping to come to your room, and ask him/her what the room cleanup routine is, detail by detail. If that person does not include “wipe down all doorknobs, area of doors near knobs, light switches, TV remote, bed rails, ANYTHING with a handle on it, arms of guest chairs, room telephone, AND the underside edges of the tray table (not just the top),” insist that all of those items be done in your room, aside from the usual “floors, faucets and surfaces.” You also have the absolute right to demand that ANYONE who enters your room both wash their hands and glove up before entering. Nurses, doctors, housekeeping, the dietician’s assistant — anyone. I cannot stress enough how important this is. The risk of infection far outweighs the risk of the surgery itself. Anything that is dropped on the floor ceases to exist: forks, whatever. If your water cup hits the floor, demand another one. If a visitor tries to hand you something that fell on the floor, do not accept it. Bring some sanitary wipes in case a knitting needle or notion hits the floor, and ask for a handful of alcohol prep pad packets so you can wipe down your cell phone often. Eyeglasses too. Wash your hands as often as you can. Bring antibacterial wipes to cleanse your own hands on the first days after surgery, when you can’t get up. I’m sure I will think of a few more things later.
If possible, talk to the head of housekeeping about sanitation and cover those details BEFORE you are admitted, and keep an eye out for compliance after you wake up.
Ask a family member to be diligent about watching for those things while you are out of it after surgery. I wish I could be there to be your Pathogen Doberman.
I will help in any way I can with Go Fund Me. Please call me ASAP, because someone else wants to help, but they need some information.
You are loved. Hold onto that, my dear friend.
Please give Devyn my number or Lisa’s number so that just one friend can be contacted for health updates until you can post on your own, and we’ll pass that information on to as many people as possible. A whole lot of people out here are pulling for you, cher.