Well, first off, I failed to take complete notes last night, but I know I took my insulin and I know I ate a normal dinner.

And then I slept mostly fairly well during the night; roughly two hours awake in the middle, but when I was in bed I was asleep. BigBoy was mostly in his normal spot, but he did experiment taking other positions, including coming up to knead on my shoulder a bit.

In recent days, I have taken to whistling for BigBoy later in the evening. He used to come in of his own accord after the afternoon meal, but the sun would be up and he’d spend long hours inside overnight. Last night I went out to collect the food bowl around 8:00 or 8:30-ish, and he was huddled by the front door ready to come in for the night. Perhaps we’re starting a new pattern…?

I finally dragged my ass out of bed around 7:15, put BigBoy and the food bowl on the porch and did my finger-stick. WHAT!!?? Only 89?? Are you kidding? I don’t think I’ve been down in the double digits before. And I can’t imagine what I did yesterday that contributed to such a low number. Not that I’m complaining, just incredibly curious.

It is currently just 38ºF this morning, and I am certainly feeling it. Yuck.

Yesterday Donna moved the heavy microwave (“this isn’t heavy”) to an electrical outlet that works in the living room. That will make my life easier, since I won’t have to use the oven and heavy cast iron pans right away after surgery. And I have loads of goodies in the freezer that should be there when I get home.

It is hard for me to resign myself to just lying on a bed after surgery. Sure, they all say I won’t feel like doing anything right away, but even so it is hard to wrap my head around letting go of everything for a while. I suppose I need that revelation, and I am pretty sure when it is happening and after it is over I will be just fine. But at 65 years old, I have not spent any real time in hospitals (not counting tonsillectomy when I was very young, and 2 days in sick bay with German measles in the Air Force), so I don’t have personal experience to draw from regarding being in that sort of limbo. I do count myself fortunate, since many people spend their lives in and out of hospitals for a variety of things. My lack of experience in this regard means I am less informed than others.

Post-Katrina was a different sort of limbo, and I was in an altered reality, but so was everyone else around me, and we just got busy doing what we needed to do to survive the experience.

Amazing how much goes through my head these days.

Later on.. what a weird day it is being. I added the second blood pressure medicine last night, but I can’t imagine it would make this much difference, but maybe it does.

Anyway, besides sleeping relatively well last night, I’ve been lightly dozing off and on through the day, and in my body I feel so much better than in recent weeks or months, as if there is some new sort of ‘okay-ness’ about all of this and things will work out just fine.

I just did my afternoon finger-stick — 92! What the actual fuck? Ninety-two?? How?? Don’t get me wrong, I’m pleased to see such low numbers, especially for the afternoon reading, but i don’t know what exactly has made the difference today.

O’course, it doesn’t change the fact that my aorta is fucked up and I’m about to be having surgery that will screw with my days and nights for a couple more months before I’m actually better. But it feels like, just for today, that ‘nothing much actually matters.’ If that makes any sense.