I know I’ve mentioned it before but it has come up again recently because a lot of people are commenting on FB how their parents died ‘x’ years ago and they still miss them. I get it — people who had fantastic relationships (or even adequate or mediocre relationships) sometimes wish those people were still around. I wish I had had that kind of relationship with my parents where I might one day miss them in my life.
I lost my parents in 1969. My father died in 1987 and my mother died in 1993. Virtually every time I had to be around either of them, it was uncomfortable and toxic. I did not miss them when they were alive and do not miss them even now.
What triggered me this morning is that several people say they can no longer hear their parents’ voices in their heads — they’ve forgotten what their parents sound like. I haven’t. I don’t remember their ‘voice sounds’, but I remember their words and phrases and inflections, and that’s when I can hear their voices. I also hear my grandmother’s laugh.
It’s been a while since i have posted to this blog. Forgive me.
Today I am recovering from a cold that attacked me last week. Weekend before last I felt like I was just dragging ass, and by early mid-week I was fully sick with a chest cold. I am now feeling somewhat better, not coughing nearly as much, and holding most of the cough at bay with Mucinex Cough DM, 12-hour slow release.
But never mind all of that. There is something in particular I want to muse on for a moment: New things.
Starting just before the holidays and continuing to this week, my life seems to be about getting New Things. My camera died and I had to buy a new one — my ability to show and sell my yarns requires I have a fairly decent camera. Then my computer started going wonky and had to be replaced.
A couple weeks ago I got thoroughly disgusted as the last of my bath towels was showing frayed edges, so I ordered all new bath towels, hand towels, and washcloths. Thick luxurious towels are not something I’ve allowed myself in the past, but these are sooo lovely, and better than any towels I’ve owned before. I feel almost decadent using them. Almost. 🙂
Last week I spent over $100 on new high-capacity ink cartridges for my printer, and this week my printer decided to up-and-die. I can’t print packing slips and shipping labels without it, so a new printer and extra ink cartridges were ordered — because of course the cartridges for the old printer won’t fit the new.
I am not rolling in dough here, and I feel awkward spending money I don’t normally have. BUT, there are several friends who have shared resources, some anonymously. I could not have gotten these nice new things without them. I am very grateful.